This is the third attempt at writing an introduction. I just can't make my mind up on what write so just ignore this bit and read on...
The Premier League Starts
From Friday 10th August
Ever since Jonny started singing Nanny Banton’s World Cup song in Bunny Jackson’s and Croatia scored their equaliser – nobody has wanted to think about football. But you’re going to have to this weekend whether you like it or not because the Premier League kicks off and so you’re going to see Jeff Stelling’s leathery mug and Matt Le Tissier’s bad pegs every Saturday in the pub from now on. Oh joy! Will Eric Cantona succeed at Man United after a great year at Leeds? Will Dean Saunders score as many goals as last season and will Gary Mabbut finally retire? All these questions will be answered (and more) over the next 9 months. You can watch all the football you ever desire at Dive NQ, as well as Black Dog Ballroom NWS. The Range will also be offering the chance to watch the biggies on their massive 160-inch screens – so check that out too.
Derrick Does Deaf
Friday 10th August
Like most 10-year olds, the Deaf Institute is making a huge fuss over their birthday but happily for us there won’t be much in the way of games of Pass the Parcel, little bags with cake wrapped in napkins in it and the smelly kid from Class 3B pissing himself in the garden. Instead they’ve got loads of big parties going on including this one this weekend – Derrick Does Deaf. Derrick isn’t the husband of that old woman who lives next door, it’s Chicago-born Derrick Carter who’s been messing about with records and decks since he was about 9 and pissing himself in gardens at parties. I only jest – sorry Derrick – I think you are mint pal and I would very much like to watch you this Friday and check out your brilliant MCing tekkers. If you do too – grab some tickets below before they go!
Manchester Caribbean Carnival
Saturday 11th & Sunday 12th August
The biggest party to hit the area in and around Alexandra Park – the Manchester Caribbean Carnival is a bloody good time for all – especially if you like good food, top music and wiggling your arse about like you’re getting electrocuted. It all kicks off early doors on Saturday morning with a parade through Hulme and Moss Side, with the party then moving on to the park for two full days of proper Caribbean vibes. There’s also a load of after parties knocking about in the city, especially on Saturday night. There’s a massive Wray & Nephews night at Manchester Academy, a Hit & Run special at 256 in Fallowfield and about a million others that I’m in no way cool enough to know about. Nanny Banton in all of his infinite wisdom wrote some words on the whole thing – read it here…
The Lowry Open Day 2018
Saturday 11th August
This weekend sees The Lowry unbolt its doors, polish their brass knobs and roll out the red carpet for all and sundry as they partake in this year’s ‘Open Day’. Just like the ones that you used to have at school, this Open Day allows random people off the street to start poking their noses into what’s going on, seeing what it’s like backstage, touching stuff that they shouldn’t do and generally just getting in the way. They’re going to have performance related workshops hosted by Matthew Bourne’s New Adventures and Rambert alongside drop in drawing sessions, cupcake decoration, creating your own comic book and acting improvisation classes. Pier Eight will also be bashing out the DJ sets too. It’s a top day for all the family so if you’re at a loose end – give it a go.
An Officer and a Gentleman The Musical
From Monday 13th August
Now I’ve never seen An Officer and a Gentleman and I never intend to but there are a few things that I know about it that I have gleamed from general culture and a couple of episodes of The Simpsons. First of all, it features Richard Gere who, alongside enjoying the company of gerbils (allegedly), plays a man who is both an officer in an armed force and a nice gentleman. There. That’s it. Oh, and there’s a bit at the end where he walks through a factory where his girlfriend is working, fully decked out in his shiny white uniform, buckles on his shoes all polished, and he picks her up and walks her out. That bit was in The Simpsons. You know the score here – it’s perfect date night fodder, either that or a cracking night out with ‘The Girls’. It starts this Monday and isn’t on for long so be quick.
DaM-FunK at Soup Kitchen
Wednesday 15th August 2018
The reason this gig at Soup Kitchen on Wednesday is in this Things to Do is because Finest Director Steven Pankhurst will be very upset if it isn’t. He’ll get on the blower to me around half 11 on Friday morning and question why on Earth I didn’t think to include that DaM-FunK that EVERYONE wants to go to. I’ll reply first by getting my back up and then saying that I don’t really know his vibe and so it’s difficult to write anything. So, this is what I’ve done. I’ve written something without actually exposing my inferior knowledge of DaM-FunK. What a genius. If you like DaM-FunK, and know who DaM-FunK is then you’re definitely going to see Steven at the gig on Wednesday – buy him a Coke or something. NOT a Pepsi. If you don’t know who DaM-FunK is but you fancy a bit of something different – the link below will allow you to buy tickets (as well as tell you what the vibes are).
Daft Punk (performed by a 16-piece orchestra)
Wednesday 15th August
This is a really good idea – basically a 16-piece orchestra will be bashing out all of the big tunes from those robot headed weirdos Daft Punk. This week also saw tickets for another similar event go on sale, but this time it was for Biggie’s ‘Ready To Die’ album. Why stop there though? Let’s get an orchestra to play Michael Jackson’s Thriller, or a bit of Prince or even all of the hits of S Club 7 – I’d be well into that. Not that I don’t like Daft Punk, it’s just that if I’m being honest with myself, deep down I want to listen to ‘Reach for the Stars’ more than ‘One More Time’. I know you feel the same but until Bradley and Tina sort themselves out, you’re going to have to stick with Daft Punk. Tickets for this are disappearing fast so get involved as soon as possible!
One Ingredient Tasters: Asparagus at Asha’s
Thursday 16th August
A very exciting Finest event here and an idea that originated from inside my little brain box. We’ve called it One Ingredient Tasters and the concept is pretty simple. We gave the brilliant Head Chef at Asha’s an ingredient, and in this case it was asparagus, and let him go away and create an amazing 6 course tasting menu containing said green vegetable. He’s created a Chicken Asparagus Korma, a White Asparagus Chaat and even Salted Caramel Asparagus Ice Cream, all of which I have tried and are all fucking brilliant. The guy is a genius – turning a proper boring vegetable into something so good. But that’s not all – there’s also a bloke who works there who has created two proper nice Asparagus cocktails (in partnership with Manchester Three Rivers Gin) which again are genius. So for the low, low price of only £39 you get 6 courses and 2 cocktails – ‘nuff said. Get your tickets below.