Things to do in Manchester this week: 14th – 20th September 2018

I’ve had a pretty bad week that has mostly involved being hopped up on goofballs because of a broken rib acquired during a particularly messy session at Bunny Jackson’s.

So this week’s things to do will probably contain even more nonsensical bollocks as usual but luckily for everyone, there’s plenty of stuff going on…

RAF 100 Aircraft Tour
From Friday 14th September
I was very excited to see pictures of the legendary Spitfire plane in Albert Square this week, and that little lad that’s buried deep inside my brain box did a little jump of excitement. Of course, the 33-year-old man in there quickly dispelled any of that nonsense but still – a real Spitfire! So close that I could actually try and touch it and break it. I’ve been informed that it’s there to celebrate 100 years of the RAF but surely the RAF has been going for more than 100 years? I mean, Lord Flashheart and his flying aces were knocking about in 1916 – shooting down the Bosh and doing some serious top-level shagging. Wait… I’ve just Googled it. They were called the Royal Flying Corps then. So, it’s more of a name thing really. Anyway, it doesn’t matter – you can see the Spitfire from Friday, Saturday and Sunday alongside a full Lancaster Bomber, a couple of newer ones and the brilliant Sopwith Camel – the kind of bike with wheels that Flashheart would have flown had he been real.

 

Head for the Hills Festival
From Friday 14th September
Or Ramsbottom Festival as it used to be known, is hitting up a massive field this weekend with a packed programme of live music, entertainment, food and general family fun and giggles. We had a competition for this up on the site this week and as part of that I ended up editing a video which was 3 minutes long and featured all of this ‘fun’ from last year’s festival. It must be said – if I was a kid I probably would have vomited out of excitement, cried, wet myself and then scoffed too much candy floss, spewed again and then fallen asleep while my parents danced to a pretty class line up. This year sees The Slow Readers Club, The Boomtown Rats and The Bluetones headline, with a load more on the roster. Check out this playlist to get an idea of the tunes…

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Joint Venture Beer Vending Machine
Friday 14th & Saturday 15th September
Virgin Atlantic and Delta Airlines have decided to let bygones be bygones and have teamed up to market their flights to America as a team. The cynic in me thinks that maybe it’s because the demand for US flights has plummeted in recent years, so much so in fact that I’ve been able to get myself a flight to LA over Christmas for only £300 return. Whatever the reason – they’ve decided to give the people what they want – FREE shit. And that free shit will be beer, in the form of a massive vending machine that’s getting air lifted into Spinningfields on Friday and Saturday and will be belching out free tins of US beers. Of course, those Yanks aren’t actually that good at making beer but it’s free so who cares?

 

Oktoberfest @ Albert Hall
Friday 14th & Saturday 15th September
Someone over at the Albert Hall seems to not be able to use the diary that their mum bought them at Christmas because this weekend in September sees Oktoberfest come to the city – complete with all of the obligatory dresses, leather shorts, beards, knee slapping and huge lagers. Perhaps I’m just ignorant and Oktoberfest is actually supposed to happen in September – I don’t really know and can’t really be arsed researching it. It doesn’t really matter though does it, not when you’ve got such a whirlwind of music, beers, sausages and dancing on show.

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The Witches – Interactive Film Screening
Saturday 15th September
The bit at the beginning of The Witches is truly one of the most frightening things for a child to behold. Even now as a fully-grown human adult I struggle with the idea of getting trapped in a bloody painting on my parents’ wall until I die. The scares continue to come after this, with witches popping up out of nowhere asking unsuspecting kids if they want chocolate, culminating in a big scene in a hotel conference room with hundreds of the manky old crones taking their wigs off. This Saturday sees the Make a Scene crew continue their brilliant immersive screenings with Roald Dahl’s masterpiece complete with fancy dress, cakes, workshops, chocolate and a million other things that will make it even more amazing.

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Girls on Film Lost Boys Special
Saturday 15th September
Girls on Film is a bloody brilliant night and if you’ve never been then you cannot claim to know anything about Manchester and I’m going to give you a Chinese Burn when I see you. It’s the ultimate 80’s night and everyone knows that the best music, fashion and films came out in the 80’s. Some people say the 70’s but they’re idiots. Others say the 60’s but they are idiots too. People who say the 90’s are a little bit right, but not as right as the ones that say the 80’s. And so, they’ve got a Lost Boys special this weekend at the Deaf Institute so you should really go down and check it out. They’ll have tracks from the movie soundtrack, of which features that brilliant song by The Doors, ‘People Are Strange’ that came out in the 60’s – oh wait. Shit.

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Party with Haçienda Legends at Pen and Pencil
Saturday 15th September
Any visit to Liverpool wouldn’t be complete without someone mentioning The Beatles. Or you seeing a picture of them. Or a statue. Or walking into Debenhams to buy some tutty and hearing ‘Hey Jude’ on repeat. Well, Manchester’s equivalent is undoubtedly the Hacienda – a subject that people just can’t’ get enough of, especially if you’re either an old raver who used to actually visit or one of them blokes who wants to look like Ian Brown all of the time. Well this Saturday sees Hacienda legend Dave Haslam hit up the Pen & Pencil with support coming from Chad Jackson and David Dunne – who also got involved with the notorious dancing den in the late 80’s and early 90’s. It’s free and it should be brilliant. What else you want?

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Freshers Week
Starts Monday 17th September
I was struggling so much with finding things to do last week that I included probably my worst addition ever. Yes, much worse than that amateur wrestling in a car park in Stockport that I included once. It was an ‘Introduction to Dry Walling’. What a mess. To be fair to myself though, it was a particularly slow week. I don’t need any of that rubbish this week though because there’s actually too much going on for me to fit it in – so I’ve had to condense them all into one bit. This bit. Because it’s – Fresher’s Week! The sheer amount of necking and STD’s getting flung about this week will be astronomical, and apart from making me extremely jealous, it’s because there’s loads of top nights on. Check out our Club Nights guide for the best:

The Best Club Nights in Manchester: September 2018

 

Matilda
Starts Tuesday 18th September
In what is turning into a particularly Roald Dahl heavy things to do, you may also be pleased to know that the brilliant Matilda musical starts this week at the Palace. This is one of the only real musicals that I’ve actually seen in the theatre and I must say – it was fantastic. Mine had that slightly odd-looking girl who was in Hereditary playing Matilda, but once I got over that – I had a bloody good time. Bruce Bogtrotter is also my personal hero. The show is on right up until the end of November so if you don’t manage to get yourself any tickets in that time – you really need to start questioning your ticket buying skills.

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The Perfect Match Beer, Cocktails and Cuisine Pairing at The Bay Horse
Wednesday 19th September
There are a lot of paired dinners knocking about at the moment and if I’m being completely honest with you – I’m getting a little bit bored of them now. Don’t get me wrong, they’re always very good events with decent food and plenty of booze but I just want something a little different. Step up The Bay Horse then because they’ve sat themselves down in a little meeting room and actually thought about how they can do this and make a paired dinner better. They are a bunch of geniuses because what they came up with is brilliant. Instead of one drink per course – give ’em 2! Thank you very much indeed. The menu looks brilliant too – with a particular Pan-seared Wood Pigeon dish catching my eye almost instantly. You can check the menu and get your tickets below…

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