Things to do in Manchester this week: 1st – 7th June 2018

I've had a terrible week and can't wait for it to finish. The only problem is that I can see next week being even worse, with work being mental busy, my bank balance continuing to dwindle and the fact that I'm always sweating my face off in this ridiculous muggy heat. Hopefully one or two of these beauts will make it marginally better...

Manchester Art Jam at Hatch
Friday 1st June
These Art Jam/Battle/Deathmatch/Scuffles are all the rage at the moment, where artists turn up in a beret and with one of them mixing board things that look like a pissed-up Pac Man and have a set time in which to create something good. Then everyone in the audience judges whose is the best and the winner gets a big shiny medal while the losers get gunged by Dave Benson-Phillips. It’s a lot of fun and Friday sees such an event head to Hatch which is pretty much perfectly set up to host something like this. The artists can piss about in the middle of the courtyard while everyone watches from around the sides, tucking into some proper nice food or supping some beer or wine. Personally, I’d go for a big juicy kebab from Yadda Yadda, sink a few pints and then vote for the picture which features the most nudity in it.

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King Street Festival
Saturday 2nd & Sunday 3rd June
Since pretty much dying a death a few years back King Street is back, with loads of new places opening up recently as well as old favourites soldering on in the area. Each year they have the King Street Festival which usually involves loads of food, Pimms, lawn games and strangely enough – sunshine. This year is no different with a packed couple of days, so packed in fact that I don’t have any room to list everything here. So, I wrote something else and you can just click that below. My personal highlight is surely the King Street Cocktail Trail where loads of places have made some special cockkers for only a fiver each.

 

Envirolution Festival 2018
Saturday 2nd June
In an attempt to not sound like a savage who leaves his telly on standby when he goes away for the weekend, I’m going to talk about Envirolution Festival at Platt Fields Park, because they hate all that kind of stuff. And you should too really, because mostly due to Las Vegas keeping their neon lights on 24/7, as well as people driving manky cars and burning old dinosaurs – the Earth is fucked and it’s only going to get worse. In a few years we will all be wearing leather jackets in the Australian outback, fighting over ‘Guzzoline’ to fuel our death-trap cars and wage a war with that butch baddie from Commando. Anyway, I’m waffling – here’s what Envirolution Festival is; it’s a community-minded, free, family-friendly festival run in Platt Fields each year, full of sustainability-themed workshops, amazing live music, discussions and games to get stuck into.

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Fabric of Football: World Cup Classics
Starts Saturday 2nd June
Everyone knows that the best looking footy top ever was the 1988 Holland jersey which featured orange and white parallelograms with black detailing. You can see it above on Marco van Basten and Ruud Gullit and I’m sure you will agree with me that it’s pretty special. To be fair there’s loads of top old kits out there including the brilliant 1992 Man Utd Away Kit, and the 1986 Oxford United kit sponsored by Wang Computers. If you’re interested in what I’ve just been going on about well you’re in luck because there’s a new exhibition opening at the National Football Museum this week – Fabric of Football: World Cup Classics which looks at the most iconic kits through footy times – mostly all provided by Classic Football Shirts. It’s run by a couple of fellas that I went to Uni with actually. Not that this is an advert for them or anything – I’ve not spoken to them for around 10 years – mostly because they’ve been successful and I’ve been languishing in a gutter.

 

Singin’ in the Rain at The Lowry
From Wednesday 6th June
I’ve never seen Singin in the Rain so I don’t have a clue what it’s all about. This is why the internet is such a brilliant tool nowadays. In the past I’d have to travel down to the local video shop on Ripponden Road, spend 30 minutes finding the bloody thing, watch it and then write this. Even a bit later I’d have had to have fished out my Encarta CD-ROM, waited for it to load and then searched for it. Thanks to Google I now know in seconds that it’s a musical which is a light-hearted take on a couple of actors in the 20’s who are worried about the transition from silent movies to ‘talkies’. Everyone knows the bit where Gene Kelly sings in the rain and that should be brilliantly recreated for this production at The Lowry which starts on Wednesday. It’s only on for a few days so you better be quick with the booking.

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Camden Town Brewery: Little Camden Beer Room and Bar
From Wednesday 6th June
Stuff doesn’t usually go well when things from ‘Down South’ head up to Manchester. Case in point – the annual Tory Conference, where a bunch of (mostly) blokes head out of their tiny little Oxfordshire villages and get pelted by eggs, called a bunch of “knob heads” and get a flick in the face after looking down at something on their top. It’s not going to be the same with Camden Brewery though – mostly because they are bringing booze with them – booze that we can all enjoy at their new pop up in the NQ which opens this week. Starting on Wednesday they’ve got a pretty busy few days featuring art, barbers, comedy and music – all put on to a backing track of ale and lager. It’s on Newton Street, somewhere either above or below Cottonopolis – you’ll have to do a bit of snooping.

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Berton Vineyard 5 Course Wine Pairing Evening at Brasserie Abode
Wednesday 6th June
One for the wine-ies here as Brasserie Abode host another one of their excellent Wine Evenings, where they ply you with some of the best wine from around the world while also feeding your fat face with a 5 course taster menu. I went down to Brasserie Abode this week to do a review on their new menu and I was very impressed with their food so you’re in for a treat. Each wine has been specially paired with each dish and they all come from the Berton Vineyard over in Australia. I’ve just looked at where that is on Google Maps and it’s in the bloody middle of nowhere – Australia is massive isn’t it!? Err… there’s not much else to say about this – if you like food and wine then there’s no better place to go this week.

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Motherfunkers End of Exams Escapade
Wednesday 6th June
Yippee!! It’s the end of the exams time! You’ve tried really hard over the last few months, revising, researching, highlighting and reading, and now you’re all done! Time to celebrate with a mucky piss up and Parklife, before returning back home in Cambridgeshire to live at your mam and dad’s house and work at the local pub for the Summer. This means that there’s a shit load of things going on this week for all the students to let off some steam and my personal pick would be the Motherfunkers End of Exams Escapade over at the Deaf Institute on Wednesday. There will be performers, glitter and shit, as well as the best funk, soul, motown and 70’s that money can buy. I’m sure that there’s better dubstep or trance nights out there but I’m an old man – I’m sticking to my funk.

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BemBom Takeover at Sandinista
Thursday 7th June
You’ve never heard of BemBom?! Alright there grandad, get with the times. BemBom is a new, super sparkly Brazilian Rum and they are hosting a launch party this week at Sandinista which will give you the chance to get some of it down your neck, listen to some tunes and scoff your face on tapas. There’s FREE bevvies for the first 30 people through the door, as well as free ‘Canapes’ which is French for ‘tiny people food’. Best of all though is that they’re letting you bring your own vinyl in – so you can make the soundtrack for the evening. I’ll be there with my ABBA Gold vinyl so bring along something similar so it doesn’t sound out of place – perhaps that Timmy Mallet record he did a while back or even Chegger’s Plays Pop – something along those lines.

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