It's a list of the best things that are happening in the city next week. If you've got an event on and it's not in this list, go back to the drawing board please. It's rubbish. Or sold out. In which case - well done.
Record Store Day
Saturday 21st April
The city will be full of annoying music know-it-alls this Saturday because low and behold – it’s Record Store Day. Luckily for them the weather will be nice, because they’re going to be standing around queueing outside the city’s record shops for fucking hours, likely talking with each other about how they really, really want an original pressing of Blue Monday, or an exclusive live Elvis vinyl that was only available for 50 minutes in Memphis in 1968. There’s not just the spending of monies though, there’s also loads of music-related events happening, including my favourite – Bring Your Own Records at The Bay Horse in the NQ. I’ll see you there with my Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey & His Inter-Reformers Band album.
Saturday 21st April
There’s a couple of Prince themed events this week and so I thought I’d bunch them up, much like how his testicles must have bunched up in those extremely tight trousers he used to wear. Prince was an absolute fucking legend and I’m a big fan. His gig at the Academy a few years back was probably the best gig I’ve ever been to and this is coming from a man who has had the pleasure of watching All Saints perform in a theatre in Rhyl. First up is PLY who are having a Prince themed party to celebrate Record Store Day on Saturday. They’ll be flogging records and then turning the evening into a Prince party with loads of his tunes and the obligatory Prince themed cocktail. Keeping with the capitals, MOJO will also be throwing a Prince party on Saturday with a cocktail. This time an Absolut Vodka Purple Raspberry Slushie. Decision time baby.
Kahlua Brunch Club
Saturday 21st & Sunday 22nd April
Although I despise the taste of coffee, there’s no denying the importance of Kahlua in my cocktail drinking life. As a key ingredient in the fantastic White Russian, Kahlua should be in everyone’s drinks cabinet, regardless of whether it’s one of those posh globe ones or just a sack stuffed under your pillow. The Kahlua lot are in town this weekend (and many subsequent weekends) and they’ve organised a Brunch Club – because everyone loves booze and everyone loves brunch. This Saturday and Sunday you can get yourself a 2-course brunch, 2 cocktails and an Espresso Martini making masterclass for only £16. Make sure you buy a pack of Double Mint chuddies for later on though, nobody likes coffee breath.
Use our exclusive code MCR25 to get tickets for £12!
Heather Small @ Manchester Academy
Sunday 22nd April
The woman who proudly wore a pineapple on her head throughout the nineties and then got married to pie-head Shaun Edwards, Heather Small was a massive part of everyone’s radio listening life as the lead singer of M People. She’s got a very distinctive voice, and when belting out such hits as Moving On Up and One Night IN Heaven, you can’t help but sing along in a Heather-esque impressionist tone. She’s going to be in concert this week at Manchester Academy and if you’ve got 66 quid going spare you can even meet her and chat to her and maybe get the chance to touch her face and sniff her hair. If you wanted to you weirdo.
Spamalot @ The Lowry
Starts Tuesday 24th April
Monty Python is absolutely terrible. I find it to be a weird form of middle-class comedy, where posh blokes laugh about dead parrots, coconut shoes and shite drawings of rabbits. It doesn’t appeal to me at all. But there’s loads of people out there who it does, and I suppose the arrival of Spamalot at The Lowry Theatre will be the perfect chance for them to hone their hearty guffaws and quoting expertise. I don’t know what it’s about; something revolving around that Holy Grail movie they did and presumably some mention of the excellent canned cooked pork meat. It’s likely to be nonsense but I suppose you lot like that don’t you?
Jason & His Amazing Midlife Crisis Tour
Wednesday 25th April
Growing up in a back-water town in Australia, little Jason Donovan had absolutely no idea he would end up becoming one of the world’s biggest TV and music stars, beating even Pat Sharpe himself to the 1992 Brit Award for ‘Best Mullet’. Since starring in Neighbours, getting off with Kylie and singing a few mega hits, Jason’s career has gone into the stratosphere with appearances on I’m A Celebrity, those Iceland adverts and of course, Loose Women. He’ll be in Stockport this week but unfortunately for many, he won’t be singing. Instead he will be talking about his life, telling some juicy stories about Kylie’s arse and handing out commemorative Jason Donovan pin pages for the lapel of your favourite double-breasted denim jacket. He will be singing actually. I’ve just read that now. So, you can have a little sing-song with him too. That’ll be nice.
One Deck Wednesday Social with Andy Smith @ Electrik
Wednesday 25th April
One Deck Wednesday at Electrik in Chorlton are always proper top and this week sees Portishead legend Andy Smith cruise on down and get out his vinyl collection for you listening pleasure. Grab yourself a Yadda Yadda kebab, one of them proper fit German beers and enjoy an evening most likely consisting of the kind of 90’s trip-hop that you’d find in a movie about drugs, partying and amputation. To be fair I did need to ask the office who Portishead are, but that’s because I’m a very ignorant man and spent most of the 90’s listening to Shaggy, Aqua and Eternal. As soon as I heard ‘Glory Box’ though I knew who they were. Obviously.
MCR Student Social
Thursday 26th April
As if being a student wasn’t good enough, the Arndale Centre are proper pandering to them and giving them their own night out and up to 30% discount on a load of clobber. To be fair though they’ll probably be in loads of debt already, and if you know that you’re going to owe the government around 90k for the rest of your life, you definitely deserve a couple of quid off a body-con skirt from Topshop. The Arndale Centre are also promising freebies, demonstrations, giveaways and prizes so you should probably head on down there if you’ve got an NUS card. Or don’t. Just stay in and continue wearing your oversized Helly Hansen bubble jacket from 1998. Whatever.
OverDrawn x Joshua Brooks
Thursday 26th April
My old art teacher Mrs Weston would bloody love this. OverDrawn at Joshua Brooks bring together a load of artists to create a bit of art live on stage while you gawp and whoop away like a member of the Jerry Springer audience. Some art geezer called Pete Obsolete, which I doubt is his real name, will also be hosting the Illustration Showdown, as well as flogging a load of art and art related paraphernalia. They also cover the tables with paper so you can draw and doodle and sketch a big magnificent veiny penis while all this goes on. It’s probably best not to forget that Joshua Brooks do some amazing food too in the form of Big Grillie Style and their tasty meat and cheese monstrosities.