Good morning. Or afternoon. Or evening. Whatever time of day you're reading this - STOP.
There are things to do! Go on – get off your phone and go forth. Go and have sex with someone, or go and spend time with your mam, or better yet – try one of these below…
Do something though. Life’s too short…
The Pulp Fiction Party at The Ruby Lounge
Friday 2nd November
Although I think Jackie Brown is a by far superior film, both in terms of plot and soundtrack, there’s no denying that Pulp Fiction is a brilliant bit of cinema, and a film that managed to do to women’s fancy dress what the Blue’s Brothers did to blokes. Getting dressed up as Mia Wallace for a Halloween party is a rite of passage for every woman nowadays and so if you’ve yet to partake in this particular endeavour, The Ruby Lounge presents the perfect opportunity this Friday night. A Pulp Fiction party with a live band playing Pulp Fiction tunes, DJ’s, the obligatory dance off and loads of other Tarantino related goings-on. Sounds like fun.
Out on the Floor – Manchester Camerata Present Northern Soul and Motown
Friday 2nd November
You can’t beat a good bit of Northern Soul and so this event by Manchester Camerata looks like it’s going to be a bit of a corker. Arranged and conducted by Joe Duddell and a proper, real orchestra, they’ll be playing all the hits you remember from when you were young, slim and attractive and you used to dance on a load of talcum powder down Wigan Pier. This time it’s at The Bridgewater Hall but don’t worry – they won’t say anything if you get up and start dancing in the aisles. Just don’t get pissed up and start throwing chairs about.
Cocktails in the City
Friday 2nd & Saturday 3rd November
This particular event is much like the Ronseal of the cocktail world. Not only will there be lots of mixed drinks in abundance but they’ll also be served up in what many people have deemed – a city. Our city. This city. So this Friday and Saturday if you get yourself down to New Century Hall (which is that proper 60’s looking building just on the edge of Sadler’s Yard) you’ll find a host of Manchester’s best cocktail shake-erers – doing what they do best and popping those little straws in your drink to have a taste of what they’ve made. You’ll find the likes of Arcane, Tattu, The Ivy, Cottonopolis, Science & Industry, Harvey Nichols, Liars and a shit-load more – all bashing out their favourite cockkers for your drinking pleasure.
The Christmas Lights Switch-on
Saturday 3rd November
Yaaay! I can hardly contain my excitement about Christmas. Honest. Well, okay I bloody hate it but there is one good thing that Christmas has and that’s… nope I thought I had something there. Pigs in Blankets? Nah I can have them any time of the year. Errr… forget it – I’ll be here all day trying to think of something. If unlike me you actually like Christmas though, you’ll be ecstatic to know the lights get turned on this weekend and as you’re probably aware, that means a shit load of people are going to descend on Albert Square to see Frank Deebooby from X Factor perform his hit single ‘Grab It!’ as well as an admittedly impressive 10-minute-long firework display. If you’re a dog – get under the stairs and start shaking around 8.30pm.
Oxjam Festival 2018
Saturday 3rd November
It could be argued by many (well, the three people that actually read this tripe) that I’ve lost all passion for what is going on in the city, and my ability to enthusiastically relay this to you through anecdotes, stories and general drivel. Well, they would be right. As you’ve probably noticed, I’m a rather cynical, miserable man who hates Christmas, despises all children and would rather sit in his house eating deli meats and drinking Bucky out of a mug than actually go to any of the events laid out before you here. But this one, Oxjam – actually seems like something that is worth getting just a smudge enthusiastic about, not only because it’s a nice little music festival spread over a few venues on Oxford Road but because it’s for a good cause. And like Bob Geldof I enjoy good causes. And hate Mondays.
An Audience with Luke Jermay – The Mind Reader
Monday 5th November
There’s probably nothing worse that thinking someone can read your mind. If I was in a room with Luke Skywalker, I would be going crazy thinking about him thinking about what I was thinking about. Everyone thinks some pretty fucked up stuff from time to time and so you might want to be careful around this Luke Jermay bloke too, who will be hitting up Impossible this Monday. One of our writers Kat went to go and see him last month and found it thoroughly entertaining – see her review below and if you still fancy it – you can get yourself some tickets too.
Satori at The Whiskey Jar
Monday 5th November
I’ve never really expressed much of a love for jazz but I’ve seen the kind of stuff that NQ Jazz have been doing over the last few months and commend them for it and so thought I’d give them a holler from behind my keyboard. They’ve introduced a regular Monday night at The Whiskey Jar, showcasing musicians from all over Europe and beyond – perfect for those of you that like to sit and listen to the stuff. This Monday sees Satori head up the evening, so brace yourselves now for some weird words… “They’re a Coltrane-inspired spiritual jazz trio from Perrier award winning saxophonist Josephine Davies, whose deliberate omission of a chordal instrument leaves a more spacious texture for the three musicians to explore the basic compositional elements Davies offers.” I warned you.
Monday 5th November
I was thinking yesterday how much I really, really want to suck on one of them treacle bonfire lollies that were all the rage in the early 90’s. I had some sherry in The Bay Horse which tasted just like it and so I set out to that Spar in the NQ to buy some. That is by far the worst Spar I’ve ever been in – I feel sorry for the local residents who have to call that their local ‘offy. So I didn’t find any, but I’ll be out again today on the prowl because this Monday sees Bonfire Night hit – a night where we strangely burn an effigy of a man who, if we’re being honest, was just standing up for what he believed in. I suppose Guy Fawkes got the last laugh though – ask any kid who he is and they’ll know, but ask them the king he tried to blow up and they’ll look at you with one of those stupid blank expressions that most children have when confused. Anyway – have a look below at where you can watch him burn and see pretty fireworks.
OBL Beer x VICE Pub Quiz
Tuesday 6th November
Anyone who follows Finest will have at least some minor knowledge of the name ‘Nanny Banton’. In fact, his name is so revered within our office than any mention of him typically invokes the kind of hand waving and talisman kissing you’d find when someone mentions Jesus’ name in a particularly orthodox church. If you haven’t watched The Nanny Banton Show yet then you’re in for a treat, and if you want more (and to actually meet the man in real life) this week presents the perfect opportunity. He’ll be hosting a Pub Quiz with his mate Chimpo and with the help from the gang at VICE over at The Deaf Institute on Tuesday and there are sure to be a load of beers knocking about, as well as tough questions on music, movies, memes and loads more. It’s FREE to get involved too.
Too Many Owners at Tariff & Dale
Wednesday 7th November
So this is an event where a load of the bars, clubs and restaurants of the city come together to have a massive DJ battle to be crowned the ‘Too Many Owner’ champions (as well as raise some money for charity of course). So there’ll be a crew from Crazy Pedro’s, Albert Schloss, Almost Famous, Eat New York, El Capo and more – all being given 10 minutes to impress the crowd with their mixing skillz. Tickets for the event are £20 and for that you’ll get a drink on arrival, complimentary grub from Tariff & Dale and cheap bevvies. Oh and good music – although that can’t be guaranteed.