Things To Do in Manchester this week: 6th – 12th April 2018

I'm back from Mexico and although I feel that usual sense of bewilderment that you get when you come back off your hols - a quick check on what's going on in Manchester has sorted my head right out. Shame about the Montezuma's Revenge though...

Jaws in Concert
Friday 6th April
The gripping real-life documentary of a group of vicious animals ganging up on a defenceless Great White shark, Jaws is considered by many to be a masterpiece and the film that gave birth to the whole concept of the ‘Summer Blockbuster’. I must admit that it’s one of Spielberg’s best films, what with that speech by Quint towards the end and the bit where they’re on the beach and shit goes squiffy. The only thing that annoys me about the film is that little nerd Richard Dreyfuss and the fact that I’m willing the shark (or Jaws to his friends) to rip him to shreds in every scene. This particular showing will feature a full orchestra playing alongside the movie – take a paddling pool to complete the experience.

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Definitely Maybe @ The Whiskey Jar
Friday 6th April
Containing their series of nights inspired by legendary albums, Whiskey Jar have moved on from Saturday Night Fever and are now concentrating on every Manc’s favourite CD – Definitely Maybe. Everyone knows the album, they know the songs, the cover, who wrote it, who sang it and who danced to it in 1995 while on holiday in Tenerife so there’s no point in me telling you any of my well-Googled facts. The night this Friday looks set to be a corker though with performers singing their own songs as well as from the album itself. After the live music will be a Britpop Disco.

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Courteeners: St Jude 10th Anniversary @ MCR Arena
Saturday 7th April
The Courteeners are heading to Manchester Arena this Saturday where there’s sure to be loads of argy-bargy, a load of flares and most likely – cups of piss being thrown about everywhere. It all sounds like a proper good time if you ask me. There’s still some seated tickets left to buy but if we’re being honest the only people who accept seated tickets at a concert are the elderly, the boring and of course, tossers. So, get on Twickets or something and get a standing ticket. Alternatively, you can head to one of the many Courteeners ‘afterparties’ dotted around the city, which although nowhere near as fun as an actual, proper afterparty – they should still be pretty decent.

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Evil Dead Marathon @ Stockport Plaza
Saturday 7th April
It’s just movies this week isn’t it? Movies and wrestling. Sounds like the perfect Saturday night round my house actually. Although if you do get invited to such a night, bring your own butter. This Evil Dead Marathon at Stockport Plaza is going to be a corker because not only are the films a lot of fun to watch, there’s also plenty of jumpy scares to keep you awake during the 4 movies. If you’ve never heard of Evil Dead it’s basically a bunch of knob head zombies causing a load of trouble for some guy (and girl in the remake) called Ash. Some spirits possess people and make them all eggy and then usually get killed in some brutal, bloody way. As I said – a lot of fun to watch.

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Return to Legend with Greg Wilson & Colin Curtis: Part 2
Saturday 7th April
Like most sequels, one would expect this ‘Return to Legend’ evening to struggle to live up to the original. But much like Terminator 2 or Paddington 2, this sequel looks set to build on the original and make it much, much better. Not that the first event was rubbish – far from it, and I should know because I was there on the dancefloor most of the night. Wondering how everyone knew all the same dance moves. Greg and Colin will be revising one of the 80’s greatest clubs with their collection of Soul, Jazz-Funk and most importantly Electro-Funk. Tickets are available below.

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Northern Vegan Festival 2018
Saturday 7th April
Everyone is going vegan mad nowadays with something like a 1 million percent increase in people who have decided to shun meat and dairy and eat a more sustainable diet. I also see loads of vegan flavoured graffiti all around town, mostly daubed on a poster of a Big Mac or Gregg’s latest steak pastry product. I was personally forced to eat Vegan for two weeks in India once and found it very difficult, although the fact that I ended up eating what amounted to soil contributed entirely to that difficulty. Nowadays there’s loads of vegan alternatives for everything, much of which you will find at the Northern Vegan Festival this Saturday. Expect food stalls, cookery demos, interactive workshops, kids activities and talks. 100% of ticket sales go to animal welfare charities too, which is lovely.

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Wrestlemania Party @ Bierkeller
Sunday 8th April
As I said – movies and wrestling. In my attempt to try and crowbar wrestling into every weeks’ instalment of this round up, I’m happy to report that it’s Wrestlemania this weekend and so it’s a piece of piss. If you’re not aware of what Wrestlemania is, it’s basically the World Cup final of the wrestling world where all the blokes (and ladies) grow their hair especially long, trim their back hairs and get suitably oiled up to grapple, bite, kick and stamp on as many body parts as possible. In all their infinite wisdom, Bierkeller in the Printworks are having a big themed party where you can dress up, play on a PlayStation thing and enjoy drinks offers all night. Like that geezer in Making A Murderer – you should try not to miss it.

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New Dawn Fades – A Play About Joy Division and Manchester
Starts Wednesday 11th April
I’ve changed my mind about this week’s selection of Things to Do. It’s not just movies and wrestling anymore – it’s now movies, wrestling and Manchester bands. I’ve added Joy Division to the Courteeners and Oasis to round off what has been a rather un-diverse week in the city. New Dawn Fades is a play at the Dancehouse that chronicles the lives and times of Joy Division, presented by Anthony Wilson himself. You’ll also encounter the likes of introducing an array of historical figures, including Roman General Julius Agricola, Dr John Dee, Fredrich Engels, Gus Gangrene, Pete Shelley, and the Buzzcocks, in a rather eclectic production that hopes to “set the scene for a completely new and fascinating look at the Joy Division story.

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¡VIVA! Festival 2018 @ Home
Starts Thursday 12th April
This week sees the launch of Home’s ¡VIVA! Festival which concentrates its efforts on exposing the ignorant British punter to the beauty that is Spanish & Latin American arts. The bloody thing goes on right into May and so there’s a whole flash booklets’ worth of events that I just cannot justify listing here due to my inherent laziness. I should say that there’s a wide range of cinema, theatre, art, talks and discussions to get your teeth into over the next month or so. Check out the brochure here and see if anything catches your eye.

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