International Women’s Day
Friday 8th March
I’ve tried to write this paragraph a few times now and just keep deleting it and trying to think of another way to tackle it. The main problem is that I’m either trying to be too funny or too serious and to be fair – I’m too much of an idiot to be sincere and too slow to be funny so fuck it – I’ll just play it straight. It’s International Women’s Day on Friday – when we celebrate all of the amazing women that exist all around us – as well as recognise that men in the past have been a right bunch of arseholes and totally ruined most things for them. The people of Manchester have a very close link to women’s rights and so there’s a tonne of events happening over the next few days that you can get involved in. The lovely Sophia Dellapina created a roundup of events for us – and you can check it out below.
Manchester Union Lager Tap Room Launch
Saturday 9th March
The lads down at Manchester Union Lager have been doing a bit of a 60 Minute Makeover recently, but with the absence of Claire Sweeney it’s taken them a few weeks to finally get their tap room up to snuff. I’m not promising that you won’t get your elbow snagged on a stray nail, but I am promising a cosy little bar and seating area in their brewery where you can sup the freshest and tastiest lager this city has to offer. If you haven’t tried Manchester Union yet, then you’re missing out – it’s so good that I included the tap room on my Brewer’s Mile piece a few weeks back before the place had even bloody opened. Give the lager a try and give the Mile a try too – both are bloody brilliant.
Oh yeah – they’re also offering FREE BEER this Friday!!
Suffragette City, The Sequel @ The Refuge
Saturday 9th March
The Refuge will be hosting the sequel to their very successful Suffragette City party from last year and I can certainly promise this will be more of a Terminator 2 sequel than a Robocop 2 affair. Not that Robocop 2 was atrocious – just not as good as the first. The massive event will be a women-focussed shindig featuring a line-up of upcoming and established female musical legends bashing out tunes all day in the basement and the public bar. You won’t need a ticket for the bar and it will feature the likes of the brilliant DJ Paulette, Emma Joyce from Disco Mums, Abigail Ward and loads more, while the basement will host Danielle Moore (Crazy P), Kath McDermott (Homo Electric/Flesh) and more until 4am.
Gin and Jazz Afternoon @ Pier Eight
Sunday 10th March
There are two things that will guarantee a click on our newsletter or social channels and they are ‘gin’ and ‘Disney karaoke’. Oh wait, that’s 3 words. Okay, well you get the idea – people bloody love gin. You can tell because in the last 2 years every man (/woman) and his (/her) dog (/cat) have set up a small batch gin distillery in their garage and managed to get it on sale in the local Londis. Easy peasy. Well, Pier Eight in The Lowry on Salford Quays have jumped right on this and are offering a brilliant Gin & Jazz afternoon this Sunday with a fella called Rob King who not only has a really nice haircut – he can also bang out all of your favourite hits. Live Jazz and Gin? What’s not to enjoy?
She Slays: A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Marathon
Sunday 10th March
Buffy the Vampire Slayer was on telly SO long ago that I’ve pretty much forgotten every single thing that happened in it. I do remember something about a bloke with bleached blonde hair, a bit of wood and something with that guy out of the Nescafé Gold Blend adverts but that’s about it. The rest has been lost to copious amounts of tequila and way too many Flame Grilled BBQ Rib Rustlers from Kwik Save. This Sunday though you can catch up on it all as the ever-reliable Stockport Plaza host a Buffy Marathon with a ‘best of’ selection of episodes that most fans will be well happy with. It reminds me of a joke that my mum told me once which involved vol-au-vents and cocktail sausages with the punchline “Buffet the Vampire Slayer”. I won’t tell it to you though – it’s shite.
Honest Burger Pop-up @ Northern Monk Refectory
From Monday 11th March
I’m going to tell you the truth now. Not that this column is full of lies every week of course, but there are some times where I pretend to care more than I do or know things that I simply don’t have a clue about. Well, hand on heart – I’ve never had an Honest Burger. Ever since the 2013 ‘Burger Explosion’ that took place in Manchester I’ve pretty much experienced burger fatigue, with only the odd Whopper after a night out getting past the blockade. Well, this week sees the gang at Honest Burger pop-up in Northern Monk in the NQ and I’ve heard they’re bloody brilliant so I’m going to go get one. Check them out at some point this week before they open up their own restaurant on Bridge Street in April.
Rain Man @ The Lowry
From Monday 11th March
In the movie Rain Man Dustin Hoffman plays a little fella with autism who meets his long lost brother Tom Cruise. Cruise plays his usual 80’s character of ‘a bit of a dick’ who hates Hoffman at the beginning but then starts to love him when he finds out he can win every game of blackjack in the casino. I’m going to presume that this stage show at the Lowry follows pretty much the same plot, except they’ve roped in a couple of soap stars to fill the boots of the A-listers. It was originally Chris Fountain and Paul Nicholls in it but Nicholls is feeling a little under the weather so Adam Lilley has stepped in to help out as the autistic geezer. It starts on Monday.
Levenshulme Life Drawing @ The Talleyrand
Thursday 14th March
I’ve heard from a very reliable source that The Talleyrand is a right good boozer down in Levenshulme that is well worth a visit any day of the week. Except on a Tuesday because it’s closed. I’ve also heard from the same lovely source that there’s going to be a life drawing event there on Thursday – presumably featuring someone with either their boobs or their willie out – sitting still while a bunch of people draw them in as much detail as possible. No matter how shite you are at drawing – you can still head on down and give it a try – nobody is going to laugh at you – no matter how terrible it is. Included in the ticket price is an arrival drink and cheese and biscuits, and if they have them little Hovis biscuits and a bit of Brie – you’ll definitely see me there.
Kampung Bayan Supper Club @ Hatch
Thursday 14th March
There’s only a few tickets left for this so you’d better get your roller skates lubed up and head on down to Hatch ASAP. Actually, scrap that – it’s not 1987 – just click the button below. Basically it’s an evening of food featuring Mama Z and Woks Clucking – serving up a special Kampung Banan Supper. A quick search on Ask Jeeves warranted ZERO results on that so I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m afraid. Actually, don’t worry about it – I’ve found something on their Eventbrite now. The night will be a marriage of flavours between Filipino and Nyonya cuisines – with Nyonya referring to Chinese immigrants who moved to Malaysia in the 15th Century. Bottom line – it’s going to be a wonderful, unique dining experience and you should get involved.
