Okay, okay so this week is going to be completely overshadowed by Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day where you'll either be spending time with your family, eating too much and watching the Queen chat bubbles, or you'll be all on your bill-tod, scoffing a Pot Noodle and playing Tekken until 3am.
Either way, the country pretty much shuts down for a few days, meaning you have to make your own entertainment. Luckily enough though, there’s still a few things going on in case you want to get out of the house, away from your mum doing your head in and hoovering up at 7am every morning.
Monday 25th December
Whatever your traditions are on Christmas Day it’s always one of the best days of the year, not only because you’re likely to get a new set of underwear and can throw away your tatty, crusty ones, but you can also eat and drink as much as you like all day and nobody can slag you off about it. If you don’t find yourself sat at home with a turkey dinner and Trivial Pursuit then there are still plenty of places open on the big day where you can get some Christmas spirit, including Zouk – serving up their fantastic Punjab cuisine, and the Lowry Hotel where you can pick up a belting Christmas Dinner surrounded by a bunch of businessmen avoiding the family for the big day.
Boxing Day Bottomless Brunch at Sakana
Tuesday 26th December
I don’t know about you but I’d say Boxing Day is probably the worst day in the calendar after Valentine’s Day. Everyone decides to go too far on Christmas Day with the food and booze and so are all feeling proper groggy and sluggy on Boxing Day. Add to this the fact that all you are allowed to eat is leftover turkey butties, and the shops are ram-packed full of bargain hunting zombies – it’s a really horrible day that not even a re-run of Flubber on ITV1 can fix. Sakana are here to help though – they’re offering a Bottomless Brunch deal on Boxing Day featuring unlimited sushi, dim sum and other Pan Asian favourites alongside non-stop cocktails, wine, prosecco or beer. Perfect.
Sakana, 23 Peter St, Manchester M2 5QR
Rave of Thrones at Lazy Lizard
Tuesday 26th December
I could easily fill this bit in with loads of puns and references to Game of Thrones. But I’m not going to. Mostly because I can’t be bothered – we have our Christmas party tomorrow and I’m too busy thinking about how I’m going to curl my hair, but also because it will be a bit cringe and will make me sound like a right tool. Basically, all you need to know is that the Lazy Lizard in the Printworks – which peddles itself as an Ibiza style club – are getting Hodor to do some DJing for them this Boxing Day. The geezer’s real name is Kristian Nairn and is actually a decent DJ, so it should be a pretty good night. Even if it’s not your thing though, the Instagram opportunities will be abundant.
Electric Chair presents…End of Year Riot 2017
Wednesday 27th December
This looks like it’s going to be a massive one, and at about 30 quid a ticket you should probably have high expectations. It’s basically a call back to the whole Electric Chair history, with different floors representing different eras of the legendary night. Up in the Loft will be Electric Chair (Unabombers) Vs Lowlife (Bill Brewster & Frank Broughton), while the other floors will showcase the likes of Ruf Dug, James Holroyd and PBR Streetgang to name but a few. I don’t actually think it will be a proper riot, but will probably be as close as you’re going to ever get to one without getting kettled by the coppers and having to go to the toilet behind a Tesco with a placard as your only shield.
John Hughes Film Season at HOME
Starts Wednesday 27th December
Good old John Hughes with his coming-of-age 80’s flicks and gratuitous Molly Ringwald. Well they’re having a ‘season’ of his films starting this week with one of his most fondly remembered – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, followed by Pretty in Pink on Thursday 28th. My personal favourite is Weird Science, which screens on Friday 29th, mostly because it stars Kelly LeBrock who was the most attractive human alive at that moment in time, as well as Bill Paxton who later becomes a monster made out of shit. Classy stuff here. Finally, there’s The Breakfast Club and then Sixteen Candles which both feature a little too much Ringwald but are excellent nonetheless.
The Best of John Williams
Thursday 28th December
Another film related event here, with a bunch of orchestra lot belting out the most iconic music from maestro John Williams on Thursday at The Bridgewater Hall. You’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t know the Star Wars tune or even the Jaws one, but you’ll also instantly remember the brilliant ET one, Jurassic Park and the Raiders of the Lost Ark tune as soon as they come on. The guy is an absolute legend, and worthy of a concert all to himself if you ask me. Hopefully they will do the Superman music, if not, I’m storming out – probably to a background of some sort of dramatic overture.