Things to do in Manchester this week: 8th – 14th December 2017

I've had a terrible week. Not only does pretty much every artist in the city want to knock my block off, but I also got way too pissed on Wednesday night and made an absolute fool of myself. I have just now fallen off my bike too and buggered up my knee in front of loads of people. Who laughed. Ah well, at least there's a few things to look forward to next week...

Lightwaves @ Salford Quays
From Friday 8th December
There’s a digital art festival at The Lowry called Lightwaves, it’s free and it’s on every day until Sunday 17th December. I’ve seen a few pictures and it looks nice and pretty – so if you like nice lights – perhaps you’re a moth – then you should check it out. I’m sure that there’s loads of complicated and exciting reasons behind it, with inspiration coming from somewhere and it all representing something. But – pretty lights.

What’s On

Cinderella (Cendrillon) at RNCM
From Friday 8th December
Hopefully this operatic version of Cinderella doesn’t follow the original Grimm fairy tale version where the step-sisters decided to mutilate their feet in order to try and fit them into the glass slippers at the end. Oh and then at Cinderella’s wedding they get their eyes ripped out by doves. In front of everyone. Good job Walt Disney skipped over those bits. This version of Cinderella is based on the French one by Charles Perrault which is much less gory and disturbing. It starts on Friday and runs right until the 16th December.

 

Pulp Disco @ Night & Day
Friday 8th December
Let’s all meet up in the year 2000, won’t it be strange when we’re all fully grown. Be there, 2 o’clock by the fountain down the road. Or instead, just go to Night and Day this Saturday and get involved in their brilliant Pulp Disco. Oh and Jarvis, you may have stipulated a time for this meeting, but you didn’t tell anyone a day. I’m not going to stand at that fountain every day for a year – I’ve got stuff to do. All failed attempts at being funny aside, the night will feature Pulp’s biggest and best hits, as well as a splattering of the usual stuff you’d expect from an evening at Night and Day – in other words, indie, 60’s and Northern Soul.

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Sauce and the City – The Christmas Special
Friday 8th & Saturday 9th December
Sauce legends Meat Lust rocked the city in the Summer with a big pink bus and Man v Food’s Adam Richman – transporting hungry Mancs around the city’s establishments, filling them with grub and plying them with booze. It’s now their winter special and so you’ve got another chance to check out some of the Meat Lust specials from places like Crazy Pedro’s and Northern Soul as well as partaking in the on-board BBQ. When I did it I got really, really drunk and had a fantastic time – you should too!

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It’s A Wonderful Life @ HOME
Saturday 9th & Sunday 10th December
If you come to HOME on Sunday afternoon at 15.00 you’ll see me partaking in my only Christmas tradition, complete with a big box of Kleenex. No, it’s nothing seedy or disgusting – it’s me watching It’s A Wonderful Life while my eyes piss tears. The quintessential Christmas movie, just watching George Bailey try to escape the town of Bedford Falls is enough to make even a WWF wrestler’s bottom lip trembling. If you don’t cry – you’re a robot.

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MCR Talks: Escobar – The Real Story
Sunday 10th December
There was once a bar/club in Oldham called Escobar, which was opposite the Coliseum and was great for dancing like a knob and trying to cop off with the girls from College. Unfortunately, like most of Oldham, it shut down but I always thought it was a brilliant name for a bar. At the time though I didn’t have a clue who Escobar was, but with the help of Wikipedia, and the series Narcos – everyone now knows who he is. This talk looks set to provide ‘The Real Story’ about the drug kingpin – perhaps offering a more accurate version of events than the slightly Hollywood-ised versions you’ve seen before.

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Star Wars The Last Jedi
From Thursday 14th December
Okay it’s another film, but this one isn’t one that you can just buy on DVD or download at home, it’s the brand new Star Wars and as a massive fan – I’m very excited. Continuing the adventures of a series of very attractive people in a galaxy far, far away, there’s not much I can tell you about the film because I’ve not bloody seen it and there hasn’t been any reviews for it out yet. Considering Disney have given the director his own new Star Wars trilogy to play with after this sounds like good news though. You should also expect a few people dressed up if you go on Thursday. The nerds love all that.

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