Cologne
Home of the first ever aftershave, Cologne is where Old Spice was invented as a way to make grossly unattractive, balding men feel better about themselves when around younger, fitter women. The place has pretty much been designed from the outset for a city break featuring some of the most famous Gothic architecture in Europe, loads of museums, a mint Carnival and of course – their massive beer halls. Apparently, you should definitely also try their black bread (Schwarzbrot) – it’s proper fit.
£39 return
Ryanair
Based on Saturday 17th March – Monday 19th March
Brussels
They may have had their fair share of bad news stories over the last few years, but don’t let the terrorists win – Brussels is a fantastic city with plenty to keep you easily entertained for a few. There’s Trainworld, Comic Strip centre, The Brussels Vintage Centre and the excellent Pin Pon. Or you could just get absolutely ratted on Belgian Beers, dance the night away and end up in a gutter. Your choice.
£62 return
Ryanair
Based on Saturday 17th March – Monday 19th March
Dublin
That’s right – you can get yourself to Dublin this St Paddy’s Day for £75 return and dance the weekend away with a Guinness in one hand, one of them weird little guitars in the other and a stupid big free foam hat on your head. Pretty much up there with the Rio Carnival, Time Square on New Year’s and that celebration the Ewoks had at the end of Return of the Jedi – St Patrick’s Day in Dublin is probably on everyone’s bucket list. So get yourself down there this March and bring me back some Tayto crisps.
£75 return
Aer Lingus + Ryanair
Based on Saturday 17th March – Tuesday 20th March
Belfast
Throughout my childhood, my experience of Belfast pretty much revolved around being featured on the 9 o’clock news with Gerry Adams talking about something and a reporter standing next to one of them murals. The city has completely reinvented itself over the last few years however and is quickly becoming one of Europe’s go-to destinations, not least due to the fantastic bar and night scene, the stunning scenery and of course – Game of bloody Thrones. I went a couple of years back for the wedding of my mate Mark Pentland and had an absolutely amazing time. You should too!
£55 return
Easyjet
Based on Saturday 10th March – Tuesday 13th March
Gdansk
I believe it was Gdansk where Phoebe’s boyfriend David moved to in Season 1 of Friends, only to return later on in season 7 because Hank Azaria was a bit skint and wanted to get some sweet-sweet dollar from the honeypot. No actually that was Minsk. Forget everything you just read. A quick look at a Google Map of Gdansk shows that it’s right in the north of Poland and so in March it will be a cold, cold place. Grab those long johns, stuff your armpits full of newspapers, skin a badger and make a hat and you’ll be all set for a city that prides itself on its markets, shops, restaurants and strangely enough – amber.
£104 return
Ryanair
Based on Saturday 24th March – Monday 26th March
Warsaw
My one night in Warsaw a few years back was a very eventful affair. In the space of around 12 hours I managed to squeeze in a lovely bit of steak at Butchery & Wine, a shot load of beers in Piw Paw, and then it sort of got a bit hazy and we ended up in some club, or perhaps it was a pub – I don’t know. I do remember scoffing a fantastic kebab on the way home though and staying in a lovely hostel. A top night all round.
£139 return
Ryanair
Based on Saturday 17th March – Tuesday 20th March
Milan
Great aperitifs, fantastic gelato and enough activities to fill a Lonely Planet guide book – Milan is a great place to visit to get that ‘European City Break’ experience that you’ve been craving so much. Unlike many other cities, Milan has seemingly escaped the plight of the plucky Hen & Stag’s and so is a perfect place to relax, enjoy good food, good wine and soak up some Italian culture.
£97 return
Ryanair
Based on Saturday 17th March – Tuesday 20th March
Turin
One of the major stars of The Italian Job, Turin’s streets have changed considerably since Michael Caine and Benny Hill decided to steal some gold with the aid of a few Minis and a well-balanced truck. A city with some truly epic history, Turin features more art galleries, churches, palaces, opera houses and piazzas than a Louis XIV cheese-dream so if you love history, this is the place for you. Oh, and food. Of course, the food is amazing too.
£96 return
Jet2
Based on Saturday 24th March – Sunday 25th March
Lyon
When you look at things to do in Lyon pretty much every single suggestion involves getting on an electric bike with a bunch of helmet wearing idiots and checking out the city’s many rivers, squares, old streets and all the other cheeky little places you probably wouldn’t find on your own. It all looks very lovely. Just don’t expect to be able to buy anything on a Sunday. The French do not like opening up on the day of rest so if you forget to stock up on garlic, baguettes and cheese on Saturday – you’re fucked.
£112 return
Flybe
Based on Saturday 17th March – Monday 19th March
Salzburg
I travelled through Salzburg on my way to neighbouring St Wolfgang last year and all I could think of was how this was one of the most stunning areas I’d ever visited. Salzburg is surrounded by the kind of mountains and lakes that you just want to run through singing about them all being alive with the sound of music. Around this time of year there is likely to still be some snow knocking about too so if you’re a skier, or one of them loser snowboarders, you’ll have something else to occupy your time. Oh, and make sure your try the schnapps.
£93 return
Jet2 + Eurowings
Based on Saturday 17th March – Monday 19th March
* Prices correct as of 1st March 2018
