This week will see hundreds of toff journalists struggle to demonstrate just how funny they are by making up random stories and lies in order to entertain themselves and confuse the public. Oh and it’s also April Fool’s Day. That’s called satire. And I’m obviously terrible at it. But I’d like to think I’m pretty good at giving you a list of things to do this week – and here it is. Enjoy please.
The Velvet Underground & Nico @ The Wonder Inn
Friday 31st March, 7.30pm – 12.30am
Fresh from their David Bowie inspired evening last month, The Awful Truth will be running another evening of live music at the Wonder Inn; this time celebrating The Velvet Underground & Nico. The 1967 album has been lauded as a classic pretty much since its release, and with a line-up of local bands playing the most famous hits from it, any fans are sure to be enthralled. The Bowie one was brilliant, so this one should be fantastic too.
Tickets are £5
The Wonder Inn, 29 Shudehill, M4 2AF
S Club Party @ Tiger Tiger
Friday 31st March, 9pm – 3am
I would never usually endorse an evening at Tiger Tiger, mainly due to the fact that I’m a 31 year old man who doesn’t feel like dancing to some shit tunes while downing a Smirnoff Ice. I grew out of that almost 6 months ago now. The reason Tiger Tiger have made the list this week is because on Friday they are hosting an S Club Party featuring the real Bradley and the real Jo from S Club 7. As a big fan of the S Club crew – this should be a right laugh. It’s just a shame that Hannah won’t be there. And I suppose Jo can continue her quest to try and prove to the world that she isn’t actually racist.
Russell Howard: Round the World
Friday 31st March, 8pm
As one of the young, trendy ‘Russell’ comedians that exist now, Russell Howard has managed to pave his way into the British publics’ hearts with his cheeky grin and wandering eyeball. This week he will find himself in front of a massive crowd at the Manchester Arena, which shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for him – considering he has his own TV show and has to compete with Frankie Boyle on Mock the Week.
Remaining tickets available from £28.56
Manchester Arena, Victoria Station, M3 1AR
The Crystal Maze
Starts Saturday 1st April
Everyone’s favourite TV show growing up that didn’t feature Renaissance-named Turtles – The Crystal Maze makes its entrance to Manchester this week and is conveniently located at the old Granada Studios. I doubt Richard O Brien will make an appearance, probably because he’s swimming in a room full of Rocky Horror royalty cash like Scrooge McDuck – but it promises to be a lot of fun. The Manchester’s Finest team will be giving it a try so expect a review up soon.
Tickets start at £45 per person
Old Granada Studios, Lower Byrom Street, Manchester M3 4AP
Northern Vegan Festival 2007
Saturday 1st April, 11am – 6pm
I once tried to be Vegan while staying at a conservation project in India. It involved lots of strange looking things called vegetables, as well as tons of dry stuff which to this day I still don’t know the name of. As a Vegan in the UK however, you have much better access to products, recipes and information than most places in the world, and in addition you also have a Northern Vegan Festival in which to meet fellow vegans, listen to talks and cookery demonstrations as well as try and buy some of the best vegan products available. With over 200 stalls – you will love it. As a proverbial cherry on top, the Thirsty Scholar will also be running a Vegan beer, wine and cider festival from 11am ‘til 3am so once you’ve had a look around the festival – you can go and get leathered. Sorry – probably not the best choice of words there. Drunk. I mean drunk.
Tickets are £5 payable on the door
Manchester Central, Windmill Street, M2 3GX
Laff Til Ya Fart
Sunday 2nd April, 8.30pm
With a name like that then you pretty much know you’re in for a treat. Fresh from watching Russell Howard, if you thought he was an unfunny, patronising nerd who should be selling camcorders in Dixons, then head to the Frog and Bucket on Sunday night for this showcase of ‘urban’ comedy. Promising the freshest, premier black comedy night in Manchester – cruise on down for some real, proper stand up hosted by legend Trevor Dwyer-Lynch.
Sunday 2nd April, 8pm – 5am
Although wrestling is nowhere near as fun as it used to be, there are still millions who watch it and enjoy greased-up grown men grapple, grunt and slap each other’s bodies into submission. As a kid I loved it, I just feel that there aren’t as many ‘characters’ as there once were. When you think of Big Boss Man or Ultimate Warrior and compare them to a bloke in underpants called Steven Garside that they probably have today – it’s just not as good. Not as theatrical. However, as I said – loads of people love it and with Wrestlemania coming up this weekend, Shooters inside BierKeller in the Printworks are putting on a party. Not only will they be screening the event, but they’ll be putting on a WWE themed quiz and a fancy dress party too. Sounds like there’ll be plenty of pile drivers and sharpshooters being practiced on that dancefloor.