It’s another bank holiday and another chance for you to piss away £200 with nothing to show for it but a sweaty Egg McMuffin under your pillow, a stonking hangover and a fat lip. As usual there is plenty going on in the city over the extended weekend so check this lot out.
Bongo’s Bingo – So Solid Crew @ The Albert Hall
Friday 28th April
In those early months of 2001, when the world was still relatively calm and peaceful, a gang of musicians were MC’ing on various London pirate radio stations – helping to pave the way for a massive influx of grime and garage that would take the UK by storm in less than a year. Unfortunately they kind of fell off the radar and I bet you lot wondered where the hell have they been all this time? Well wonder no more because they’re back and they are appearing at the fantastic Bongo’s Bingo on Friday – so you should probably get on down and re-live those days of youth that you’ve been yearning for so much recently. Bongo’s Bingo is brilliant – it’s not just normal bingo, it includes loads of mental games, dance-offs, audience participation and of course – loads of prizes.
Albert Hall, 27 Peter St, City Centre, Manchester M2 5QR
www.bongosbingo.co.uk
Mr Scruff @ The Refuge
Saturday 29th April, 3pm – 1am
If you like Mr. Scruff and his DJ’ing abilities and his little drawings and his funny little sayings and the way he loves tea and his little face and his shoes with the shiny buckle, then get yourself down to The Refuge on Saturday where you will find him on the decks in the Public Bar from 8pm ‘til 1am. That’s a lot of hours for anyone to DJ – but its water off a duck’s back for Mr. Scruff – he can keep going for ages. Probably the tea. Also on is Sally Adams who will be spinning vinyl earlier in the day from 3pm. Oh and it’s free.
The Refuge, Oxford St, Manchester M60 7HA
www.refugemcr.co.uk
Gung Ho @ Heaton Park
Saturday 29th April
If you’re one of those people who feel they have to participate in marathon or iron man events in order to do something interesting and give the illusion of a personality then you should probably sign up for Gung-Ho which is on at Heaton Park on Saturday. Basically it is a 5k run which includes loads of inflatable obstacles, slides, bouncy things and foam. Imagine a cross between Fun House, Gladiators and that rubbish programme presented by Richard ‘The Hamster’ Hammond a few years back – Wipeout I think. I definitely could not classify doing a 5k run as fun – however – I suppose with the inflatables it might be a tiny bit more enjoyable than just running through Platt Fields, listening to Bonkers 7 and avoiding all the ravenous tramps.
Heaton Park, Middleton Rd, Higher Blackley, Manchester M25 2SW
www.begung-ho.co.uk
Menagerie Land
Sunday 30th April
While looking through things going on this weekend I stumbled upon Menagerie’s event – Menagerie Land which is on Sunday 30th April from 2pm. It’s part of their S/S2017 day parties and that’s pretty much all I know about it. Looking at the flyer might give me some clues though. It states ‘Wear White, Drink Pink’ so I’m going to presume it’s a themed party where you wear something white – hopefully not just your yellowing y-fronts, and that they will be serving pink prosecco or other pink related drinks. Next up – wristbands are £15 per person and you can book dining or table reservations. Book now if you fancy it.
Menagerie, One New Bailey, New Bailey St, Salford M3 5JL
www.menagerierestaurant.co.uk
Dom Perignon Champagne Dinner @ The Lowry Hotel
Friday 28th April
If you’re loaded, or James Bond, then head on over to the Lowry Hotel on Friday for their £160 a head Dom Perignon dinner. Beginning at 7.00pm you can meet other fellow guests and enjoy some lovely aperitifs. Dinner is then served at 7.30pm in the intimate Private Dining room and as you can expect – each course will be fantastic and designed to complement the wine and champagne perfectly.
The Lowry Hotel, 50 Dearmans Pl, Chapel Wharf, Salford, Manchester M3 5LH
www.thelowryhotel.com
B.Eat Street Returns
Starts Friday 28th April
When it first started in Manchester I was rather perplexed as to what B.Eat Street was and what the hell was going on. Now though, I’m less perplexed – and I will attempt to disguise this confusion with a series of terrible jokes and references. Basically B.Eat Street is back for their Summer Weekenders – which start on Friday and you can expect loads of Eat and plenty of B. With street food coming at you left, right and centre, loads of tunes, DJ’s, deck chairs, beards, and loads of booze – these should be great. On top of this, over the bank holiday weekend they’re giving away 200 free drinks each day. Not to the same person obviously.
Beat Street, Deansgate Mews, Great Northern Warehouse, 235 Deansgate, Manchester M3 4EN
www.beatstreetmcr.co.uk
Bottomless Brunch @ The Pen and Pencil
Saturday 29th April, 10am – 1pm
To celebrate the fact that everyone in the country (except anyone working within a service industry) has an extended weekend, the Pen and Pencil are putting on a special Bottomless Brunch on Saturday to get everyone all jolly and fat and pissed up. For £40 per person you can take advantage of bottomless grub including Eggs Benedict, Steak and Eggs, American Pancakes and everyone’s current culinary fad – Avocado and Feta. Add to this bottomless Prosecco, Bloody Mary’s, Mimosas and Amstel and you are bound to have to unbuckle your belt and waddle home with your jeans around your chubby ankles. Be sure to book it in advance – you don’t want to turn up with an appetite to rival Rik Waller’s, only to find out that it’s fuller than Rik Waller.
The Pen and Pencil, Fourways House, 57 Hilton St, Manchester M1 2EJ
www.thepenandpencilnq.co.uk
5th Birthday with Miguel Campbell @ Black Dog Ballroom NWS
Sunday 30th April
When you usually think of a 5th Birthday party you think of screaming kids, pass the parcel, musical statues and those brilliant little bags with some toffees and a bit of birthday cake in them that’s been expertly wrapped up in a Thomas the Tank Engine napkin. When you’re thinking of Black Dog NWS’s 5th Birthday though you should expect plenty of tunes, plenty of annoyingly attractive people and lashings of booze. To celebrate, Black Dog have roped in Miguel Campbell who likes nothing more than entertaining crowds with soul and funky house while secretly playing Quake on his Mac Book Air. He will also be joined by Will Tramp and the DJ’s from Clique during this marathon party – it starts at 3pm and ends at ‘late’. It’s sponsored by Bacardi Fuego which a quick Google search reveals to be a cinnamon-flavoured rum – sounds…nice?! Anyway, the day should be packed so get on the guest list before it gets full and you have to get drunk in a ditch instead.
Black Dog Ballroom NWS, 11-13 New Wakefield St, Manchester M1 5NP
www.blackdogballroom.co.uk/nws
Bank Holiday All Dayer @ Cottonopolis
Sunday 30th April
It’s a Cuban Takeover at Cottonopolis this Bank Holiday Sunday – and no, that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be full of self-conscious blokes wearing big heels. It means that they have a DJ coming over – Fe Vargas – who excels in playing tunes which evoke the Cuban sun; with plenty of percussion, Cuban drums and Afrocuban rhythms. On top of this they have a whole host of other people that I’ve never heard of but you probably will. These include a tropical-house set from Matt Ward, as well as Swindells, Agent J – Jamie Groovement and Yadava who will be playing house, boogie and funk sets all day. It’s free and it starts at 2pm. It finishes at 2am so that’s a full 12 hours of music for you.
Cottonopolis, 16 Newton St, Manchester M1 2AE
www.cottonopolis-nq.com
La Discoteque
Sunday 30th April
Not only will this be one of the biggest nights of the weekend, but I’m also going to this so the calibre of people attending will be exceptional. Obviously. Starting from 8pm I will get to see Hercules & Love Affair perform live, listen to Jocelyn Brown belt out some fantastic disco hits, groove to Nicky Siano and his legendary 70s dance music and finally give Greg Wilson, The Reflex and Luv Dancin’ a bit of attention while I attempt to do the robot. If you are rich enough to buy a VIP ticket, you also get access to the VIP Bell Tower featuring Stevie Wonderland’s gang of reprobates including Red Greg, Gideon and Jonny X. Should be pretty mint.
Albert Hall, 27 Peter St, City Centre, Manchester M2 5QR
www.alberthallmanchester.com
Beat the Frog @ Frog and Bucket
Monday 1st May
As a brilliant end to a brilliant weekend, get yourself down to Frog and Bucket on Oldham Street for their legendary Beat the Frog night featuring 12 comedy acts – most of them so embarrassingly bad that you will cringe your kidneys out of your arse. I don’t have a clue what that phrase is I just used – it’s ridiculous. Maybe I’m just trying to be funny because this is a bit about comedy and I’m woefully inadequate in that department. As well as Beat the Frog, the Frog and Bucket will also be hosting ‘Barrel of Laughs’ on Saturday night and a special ‘Laughing Cows’ night on Sunday – hopefully featuring people who are nowhere near as inadequate in the comedy department as I am. In fact, the Laughing Cows night looks great – it features 4 female acts including Tanyalee Davis who has been on Live at The Apollo and Anette Fagon who is a regular on BBC 1Xtra and their Comedy Club.
Frog and Bucket, 102 Oldham St, Manchester M4 1LJ
www.frogandbucket.com
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2
All weekend
I’ve added this because I’ve been waiting ages to watch it and recommend that you do the same. If you didn’t manage to watch the first one – then you’re an idiot. The story of Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), getting abducted by aliens as a kid and growing to become a superhero was a genuine Marvel surprise hit – not least helped along by a brilliantly funny script and phenomenal soundtrack. The sequel looks set to follow the same winning formula and starts at the pictures from Thursday. I don’t have a clue whether the cinema in the Printworks will still be an Odeon or will have changed to a Vue – but regardless – head to that one – their IMAX screen is the by far the biggest and best outside of that London.
Prosecco @ ABode Brasserie
All Weekend
If you find the idea of all this partying and ball playing all a bit much this bank holiday, then why not head on over to Abode near Piccadilly and relax in their opulent surroundings with a bottle of Prosecco, some crisps and dips for only £20. It’s available every day ‘til 10pm and seems like a perfect way to escape the horrors of Piccadilly Gardens, the buzz of the station and the stresses of city life. I’m also faintly aware that they will be hosting a few DJs in the evenings over the weekend – so if the bubbles go straight to your head – you’ll have somewhere to have a bit of a groove.
ABode, 107 Piccadilly, Manchester M1 2DB
www.abodemanchester.co.uk/brasserie-abode/brasserie
Ball Mania @ The Printworks
All Weekend
My earliest memory of a ball pool was when my mam and dad visited Carpet World on Oldham Road and they plonked me in one while they shopped for a disgustingly offensive Saxony for the living room. I seem to remember a feeling of claustrophobia as I constantly fell under the plastic balls – as well as moments of panic as I struggled to remain ‘on top’. I’m sure as an adult I would easily be able to master this though, which is where Ball Mania comes in. They are headed to The Printworks this weekend with the largest adults only ball pit in the UK – with over 120,000 balls for you to climb and dribble over. It’s only £6.50 so you might as well, and if you find the Golden Ball then you win a prize. How exciting.
The Printworks, 27 Withy Grove, Manchester M4 2BS
www.ballmaniamcr.co.uk
