September. Bloody September. Depressing isn’t it?! Well, even more depressing is that the highlight of my week has been watching the Jean-Claude Van Damme movie 'Sudden Death', which is frankly - terrible. If you don't want to end up like me, wallowing in your own filth watching awful 1995 movies, get out and check these bad boys out...
These Smiths @ The Ruby Lounge
Friday 1st September, 7pm
I’ve just read that the lead singer of These Smiths – the Smiths and Morrissey tribute act appearing at Ruby Lounge this Friday once appeared on ‘Stars In Their Eyes’. As Morrissey obviously. And this was the catalyst that began the creation of the band. As if I’m not now going to concentrate on that instead of anything actually about the show. Stars In Their Eyes was brilliant – one of the best things to have ever graced our screens – especially the Live Final. That final probably even got the Queen ringing in and voting, long before X Factor and David Sneddon ruined it all. Anyway, tickets are a tenner for this show which promises to be “the closest sounding tribute band to the real thing”.
Ruby Lounge, 28-34 High St, Manchester M4 1QB
0161 834 1392
Launch Pad: Curio Curia
Friday 1st September, from 1pm
Bit of an arty one here – which is a considerable shift from the usual 80’s night out or wrestling in a car park in Stockport which usually features on these round ups. This week sees Curio Curia come to Castlefield Gallery and I may absolutely butcher the whole thing but I’m going to try to describe the vibes are right now. Actually, I’ve just read it and I’m in way over my head, so here’s a direct quote: “CURIO CURIA will focus on where the artists’ individual practices connect through object and image making, allowing this collaborative process to be public as the work evolves. The pair will combine their collective experience manipulating found objects including sometimes foodstuffs, to create sculptural elements that play with distortion of scale, material, veracity and humour.”
Castlefield Gallery, 2 Hewitt St, Manchester M15 4GB
0161 832 8034
Manchester Whiskey Festival
Friday 1st & Saturday 2nd September
Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people will drink it out of a decanter and over some ice. Some people will have to add 2 litres of ginger ale in order to finish it. It’s whiskey baby, and this weekend sees Manchester play host to a massive Whiskey Festival. Using words such as ‘dram’ and ’boutique’ – if you’re a fan of the brown stuff (not heroin – the other one) then you’re in for a bloody good treat. There’s 3 sessions available – one on Friday evening and then two throughout the day on Saturday.
Friday 1st September: 6-10pm
Saturday 2nd September Early Session: 12am-4pm
Saturday 2nd September Late Session: 5pm-9pm.
Town Hall, Albert Square, Manchester, M2 5DB
The Addams Family @ The Lowry
From Friday 1st Sept ’til 9th Sept
There’s still tickets available for The Addams Family over at The Lowry so why not get up off your sofa and get sat down again in a theatre with a big bag of Maltesers and a couple of sneaky vodka cokes!? I did a bit about this show a while back and within that fantastically written piece is a synopsis of the show – “The plot revolves around everyone’s favourite Goth – Wednesday Addams, who has unwittingly fallen in love with a bloke from a ‘respectable’ family. Like a good girl, she’s told her dad Gomez, but Gomez now must do something he’s never done before – keep a secret from his wife.”
The Lowry, Pier 8, The Quays, Salford M50 3AZ
0843 208 6000
Legends Are Back @ Old Trafford
Saturday 2nd September, from 10.30am
This Saturday Old Trafford will be hosting a Football Legends match, featuring old blokes who used to play footy, kicking the ball around and trying not to look like they’re past it. It’s United vs Barcelona and you can expect to see some of the following legends: Denis Irwin, Karel Poborsky, Patrick Kluivert, Edgar Davids and even Dion Dublin – taking a break from filming ‘Homes in the Attic’ or whatever he presents nowadays. There’s still loads of tickets left and I’m only messing – it should be a pretty decent day out.
Manchester Thai Festival
Saturday 2nd & Sunday 3rd September, 10am to 7pm
Away from the sex tourism and fake degree certificates, Thailand is actually a proper lovely country with loads of genuinely interesting things to see and do. There’s also loads of culture, history and food to get your teeth into – once you manage to escape Bella from the Home Countries on her gap year. For a little bit of Thailand action in Manchester this weekend you can head on down to Platt Fields Park and check out their Thai Festival. It’s £4 per day and you’ll find loads of live performance, food, Thai boxing, massages, monks, dancing, ladyboys and probably loads more.
Platt Fields Park, Manchester M14 6LA
Manchester Loves Cocktails Festival
Monday 4th Sept to Sunday 10th Sept
Everyone loves a cocktail – whether it’s Del Boy with his Bailey’s and Cherryade, or it’s James Bond with his Vodka Martini. Just the basic idea of mixing two drinks instantly makes it a cocktail – so if you only drink Snake Bites – then you love a cocktail my friend. Some bright sparks have decided to jump on the cocktail bandwagon – what with the city being awash with a dazzling array of outstanding cocktail haunts – and have come up with Manchester Loves Cocktails. Taking place throughout the city, in different venues with different events – they all revolve around the humble cocktail and so you’re sure to get pretty sloshed. There’s much more detailed information right – here.
Dirty Dancing Summer Screenings @ The Oast House
Tuesday 5th September, 7pm
It’s another week and it’s another movie from them lot at Oast House on the big Summer Screen. Even though I’d say Summer has probably finished now. You can still look forward to every girls’ favourite film ever though – Dirty Dancing – which features a wonky-legged, leather satchel-faced Patrick Swayze trying to get off with bouffant-haired, mood-hoover Jennifer Grey. You know the score by now, top soundtrack, dubious acting and that lift thing they do towards the end.
The Oast House, The Avenue Courtyard, Spinningfields, Crown Square, Manchester M3 3AY
0161 829 3830
Music Matters @ Selfridges Trafford
Thursday 7th & Friday 8th September
As part of their ‘Music Matters’ season, Selfridges Trafford are having a jolly good knees up this Thursday 7th (and Friday 8th). Thursday sees Dutch Uncles take to the stage, while Jesca Hoop will be belting out some tunes on the Friday. Tickets are £10 and include free drinks and are also redeemable against any in-store purchase on the evening. I used to work at Selfridges Trafford and I seem to remember they always put on a bloody good party. I’ll probably cruise on down but it might be awkward to see anyone I used to work with and explain just how ugly I’ve got. You can get your tickets from here:
intu Trafford Centre, 60 Regent Crescent, Stretford, M17 8DA