Things to do in Manchester this week: 28th April – 4th May 2017

Another bank holiday weekend is here and as usual there is loads to do around this fair city. But there’s also plenty going on after the extended weekend for you to get your teeth into – check out the following beauties…

 

Absolute Shite @ Ruby Lounge
Saturday 29th April

If you’ve ever been to Absolute Shite then you don’t need me to tell you that you will probably have one of the best nights ever here – despite the fact that the organisers are continually attempting to sabotage that. Billed as ‘the worst night of your life’ you can expect to hear some terrible tunes from people like Aqua, Chesney Hawkes, The Hoff and Milli Vanilli. It’s amazing and tickets are only 4 sheets.

Ruby Lounge, 28-34 High St, Manchester M4 1QB
www.therubylounge.com

 

Bank Holiday Weekend
Once again it’s a bank holiday and if you were one of those who took holidays since the last one, you’re probably going insane from having nothing to do; pottering around your house in your gruds while polishing light switches wondering what’s going on in your life. Well the end is near, and you should probably get out of the house this weekend and socialise with people again. There’s a ton of stuff going on which I have handily rounded up all together into this article here. Enjoy.

 

Thick Richard: Swear School
From Wednesday 3rd May, 7.30pm

I once got into a bit of bother with the upper echelons of Manchester’s Finest for my earlier articles and the amount of swearing in them. To be fair, almost every second word was a ‘fuck’ or a ‘bugger’ so I’ve managed to tone it down slightly nowadays. Bollocks. To be fair though, I absolutely adore swearing – I struggle to trust someone who doesn’t do it – as if anyone can resist shouting an excess of expletives when they stub their toe. Shite. To assist any budding swearers out there, comedian Thick Richard will be opening his Swear School from the 3rd of May where he hopes to give you a crash course in bad language – all the fucking shit you didn’t pissing learn at bastard school. See – I’m learning already.

Tickets are £11

Contact, Oxford Rd, Manchester M15 6JA
www.contactmcr.com

 

Gold Teeth @ Gorilla
Thursday 4th May, 12am – 4am

If you have a fiver burning a hole in your pocket and you enjoy the stylings of legendary dubstep, hip hop, grime, funk and garage geezer Oneman then head on down to Gold Teeth at Gorilla on Thursday to catch him in action. There’s also support by Gold Teeth regulars Yung Jozy and DJ LZ who will be playing plenty of angry rap and grime music that I struggle to synchronise my Macarena to. Should be a top night, so if you’re bored – cruise on down.

Gorilla, 54-56 Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5WW
www.thisisgorilla.com

 

Quizimodo 10th Birthday
Wednesday 3rd May, 8pm

It’s a well-known fact that Ben Brown enjoys getting involved in a pub quiz, and with this week celebrating 10 years of Odd Bar’s Quizimodo – he’s in for a treat for sure. Spread across their two venues (Odd in the NQ and Oddest in Chorlton), the celebrations will obviously include a mega quiz but also some free birthday cake, loads of brilliant (and shit) prizes but also a few promised ‘surprises’ from the hosts. I can only imagine what these surprises are – a game of musical chairs perhaps? Pass the parcel? I don’t know – suppose you will have to go if you want to find out. Entry is one quid per person.

Odd Bar, 30-32 Thomas St, Manchester M4 1ER
Oddest, 414-416 Wilbraham Rd, Manchester M21 0SD
www.oddbar.co.uk

 

Ellen Kent Opera @ Palace Theatre
Starts Wednesday 3rd May

It’s fair to say that I know nothing about opera, and looks like I would just be bored within minutes – waiting for an explosion or something – while getting shushed by fellow audience members for crunching down on my packet of Twiglets too loudly. But if you like Opera then you can see 3 different productions this week at the Palace Theatre, as Ellen Kent comes to town. There is La Boheme on Wednesday which tells the tragic tale of a woman called Mimi and her love for a penniless writer. Then there is Nabucco on Thursday (featuring a real horse on stage), and finally Aida on Friday and Saturday. Tickets are very reasonable so if you fancy an elegant night of culture and sophistication – this is the place.

Palace Theatre, 97 Oxford St, Manchester M1 6FT
www.atgtickets.com/venues/palace-theatre-manchester

 

Baby Grand Slam @ Albert Schloss
Wednesday 3rd May, 7.30pm

This is a new, regular night down at Albert Schloss which manages to combine their usual German inspired food and beverages with a couple of pianos and a live band. The premise is that anyone can request a song to be played by the fantastic pianists on stage – who will also sing the song as well – so it’s probably not the best idea to request ‘Smack My Bitch Up’. It’s free and it’s a great night – including something that I feel a lot of places lack nowadays – actual live entertainment while you chat and get merry.

Albert Schloss, 27 Peter St, Manchester M2 5QR
www.albertsschloss.co.uk

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