Northern Vegan Festival
Saturday 6th April
Veganism is everywhere nowadays – in supermarkets, restaurants, bars, clothes shops and even Pets At Home – everyone is going pretty crazy for it and if you think about it – they may have a point. I mean, the points they raise aren’t enough to get me to stop eating a bacon and egg sausage on a hungover Saturday morning but I don’t suppose anything that I say or do matters much anyway. This Saturday will see a huge Vegan Festival down at Old Trafford, featuring 130 stalls ranging from world food caterers, cookery demos, talks, workshops, yoga and children’s activities. Just don’t turn up scoffing a Maccies.
Gung-Ho! Manchester @ Heaton Park
Saturday 6th April
It’s never too late to get involved in a lovely bit of FUN and so if you fancy running around Heaton Park this Saturday while also jumping up and down on some inflatables – you’re in luck. Gung-Ho basically allows you to act like a big fucking kid whilst also getting fit and perhaps doing something nice for the charity of your choice. The addition of massive inflatables may sound like a lot of FUN but I assure you – they proper knacker you out. You’ll be KO’ed by around the 2km point – trust me.
NAM & Friends @ NAM
Saturday 6th April
I’ve heard a little rumour that downstairs in NAM in Ancoats there’s a sound system from Brilliant Corners featuring Klipsch speakers and an Isonone 420 mixer! I mean – that’s mightily impressive. Isn’t it? Well, of course I don’t have a bloody clue what any of that means but apparently it’s a MEGA set up and anyone with ears should probably head on down to check it out. Luckily for all of you ear possessing people, this Saturday sees them host a NAM & Friends evening – an all-night vinyl session featuring an eclectic mix of tunes from around the globe. You can also tuck into some of the fantastic Vietnamese food while you’re having a boogie too.
We Are Lager Festival
Saturday 6th & Sunday 7th April
By the time you read this We Are Lager will already be running – bashing out more lager than a Fosters factory – with the added bonus of it not tasting anything like Fosters at all. No, these are proper lagers – fizzy, cold and delicious, just waiting for you to tuck into alongside some top tunes and tucking into some great grub. The whole music programme has been curated by the Funkademia lot and you can expect the likes of Luke Unabomber, A Certain Ratio and more to accompany your ear holes while you fill your face hole with booze.
Rocky 4 @ 33 Oldham Street
Sunday 7th April
This week’s old school classic film is a cracker. A film that is actually comprised of 31.9% montage footage. What this means is that for an entire third of the film you’re basically watching a music video for some brilliant 80’s hits such as ‘Hearts on Fire‘, ‘Living in America‘ and the mightily poignant ‘Burning Heart‘. Of course, the remaining 68.1% is taken up with two boxing matches and Paulie pissing around with a fucking robot – which may have seemed like a good idea in 1985 but now just looks a bit silly. Ivan Drago is a proper good baddie though and you can watch Rocky try and knock his block off this Sunday at 33 Oldham Street. Get a ticket and it comes with a free pint of Kaltenberg and they have 2-4-1 on cocktails and pints of Estrella too.
Blackout Dinner @ 20 Stories
Sunday 7th April
This surely is the dream of many people throughout the city – eating a full meal in the dark so you can’t see what’s going in your gob and all your other senses are heightened. That’s the idea anyway. 20 Stories are getting involved this Sunday with a Blackout event where they’re going to save on the leccy bill and turn off all the lights – plunging the restaurant into complete darkness. Fear not though, they’ll have thousands of candles dotted around so you don’t trip and bang your head on the corner of a table like Des Barnes did. The menu looks fantastic too with a Wild garlic risotto, Saddle of Cumbrian Lamb and finishing on a Lemon chiboust (which is a sort of French cake thing).
IAMDDB @ Albert Hall
Sunday 7th April
The gig I will be endorsing this week is this one. Meteorically rising star IAMDDB will be returning to her home town for what promises to be the best way to spend your Sunday since they stopped showing Hamish Macbeth on ITV at 8pm. She’ll be on stage blasting out the hits from her latest Volume (and presumably all the others that she’s done too). Here, have a listen and see if it’s your thing…
Game of Thrones Quiz @ Beatnikz Brewery Bar
Monday 8th April
I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about anything as I am about the new (and final) season of Game of Thrones coming out. I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to die next week before getting the chance to glimpse a new episode that I’ve been reduced to walking everywhere wearing a crash helmet, knee pads and one of them cricket boxes that stop your nads from getting annihilated by a fast-moving corkie. Hopefully I’ll manage to survive another couple of weeks and not die, but at the very least I only need to survive until Monday when Beatnikz Brewery Bar in the NQ host a Game of Thrones quiz and I can show off all of my knowledge and skills. Doubtless there’ll be a lot of fawning men and women at the quiz once I open up my brain – so if you’re the jealous type – don’t go.
IBE War of the Roses Boxing @ Fairfield Social Club
Tuesday 9th April
Continuing the boxing theme of this week’s Things To Do (there’s also a Rocky 4 screening), this Tuesday sees a bunch of hospitality people step in the ring to knock two bells of shit out of each other in the name of charity. This time it’s for more than charity though as the good people of Manchester face off against those Yorkshire lot from Leeds, fuelling a rivalry that’s been going for hundreds of years. Is Manchester better? Yes of course it is. Are our boxers harder and faster? Easily. So if you fancy watching the people of Leeds getting their arses handed to them – get yourself down to Fairfield Social Club on Tuesday and have a bloody good laugh.
Tickets: £25 on the door
Fairfield Social Club, 6 Archway, Temperance St, Manchester M12 6HR
Tanqueray Gin Paired Dinner @ Brasserie Abode
Wednesday 10th April
Another month and another Distilled Masterclass from the talented and dedicated (and very attractive) people down at Brasserie Abode. In case you’re thinking “Ooh that looks good – but what is it?!” Well let me educate you now. Alongside a proper nice 5 course dinner, guests will be treated to 5 paired drinks using Tanqueray – the mega posh gin that people in Didsbury splash their cash on during pay day weekend. One of the best gins out there, a Tanqueray representative will be on hand to talk you through everything you need to know, serve the bevvies and perhaps even give you a little snifter of some rare Tanqueray blends if you behave yourselves.
Mama Z & Woks Cluckin present Kampung Bayan @ TROVE
Thursday 11th April
Mama Z and Woks Clucking are bringing a taste of their hometowns to Levenshulme this Thursday with Kampung Bayan which literally translates to erm… “hometown”. The story behind the event revolves around Malaysian ‘Nyonya’ food, a cuisine that emanates from the Chinese immigrants who moved over to Malaysia in the 15th Century. Growing up in Malaysia, Yen from Woks Cluckin was surrounded by the finest Nyonya food, while similarly Zosima from Mama Z was brought up on her mother’s Filipino cooking. So this supper club is a marriage of flavours between the two and features a range of unique dishes that you’re definitely not going to find anywhere else in Manchester. Or anywhere else nearby either to be fair.
Chimpo All Night Long @ Mint Lounge
Friday 12th April
This will be the first ever Chimpo – All Night Long set and so I suppose Chimpo might actually be feeling a bit of pressure for this one. He doesn’t want to balls it all up and look like a complete tool in front of his fans so I suggest he gets himself out there to do some serious preparation. Lube up your decks, polish your rim and get practising your finger work – because this is going to be a biggie. He’s promising a ‘kaleidoscope’ of styles and genres – so fans of staring into tubes with little plastic balls inside will be in luck. Everyone else who enjoys some banging tunes will be too of course.
Elvana: Elvis Fronted Nirvana @ Albert Hall
Friday 12th April
Elvana probably seemed like a good idea at the time. After 12 shots of tequila, 6 large gin and tonics and half a gallon of Fosters, creating a band that performs Nirvana songs with an Elvis impersonator front-man would have appealed to most people and to be fair to Elvana – it actually sort of works. The idea is also getting them some serious air time with the likes of me too so it can’t all be bad. In case you’re confused, they merge Nirvana’s catalogue with grunged up sections of the king of rock & rolls finest moments. This coming Friday you can catch them before they embark on a huge US tour meaning you can brag that you were there first when they end up on Top of the Pops in a few years.