I think you’ll agree that Manchester is pretty mint, but there are times when you just want to sack off work, leave the kids locked in the cellar and get yourself on holiday. So I’ve done a Judith Chalmers, popped on a sarong and found the best (i.e. cheapest) places for you to fly to from Manchester Airport in March.
Flights based on weekend of 17th – 20th March 2017.
It is staggeringly cheap to get to Brussels from Manchester with Ryanair, so there’s not really any excuses not to go. Excuses for going include the best lagers in the world, Jean Claude Van Damme, those amazing chips they do plus loads of cultural things that I would know nothing about. It’s been called ‘The New Berlin’ and for £20 per person, it’s a no brainer really.
From £20pp return.
Home to some fantastic historical sites and architecture, as well as an apparently brilliant clubbing scene – Nuremberg has moved on from silly Rallies and Trials for sure. Expect fit sausages, wonderful kebabs and even better beer.
From £26pp return.
I’ve never been to Oslo and I don’t know much about it to be fair. When I look on the Internet though it looks really good. Seems you can expect a massive increase in new trendy bars, bistros, coffee joints and restaurants – all located in a vibrant, expanding city. Some people say it’s expensive, but so is England, and with only £40 for the flight, you’ll have a bit more spending money innit.
From £40pp return.
I don’t know anything about Wroclaw, I don’t even know how to pronounce it, but every single person I know who has been to Poland has loved it so it must be good. I spend one night in Warsaw last year and the booze was cheap, people were friendly and there was loads to do. If you go to Wroclaw and love it – let me know. Oh and bring me some vodka back please.
From £44pp return.
I went to Milan in 2008, solely on the premise of Aperitifs. Basically, a happy hour where you can subsequently enjoy loads of free food with your cocktail. It was brilliant. There’s also plenty of lovely places to visit – including the Duomo Cathedral, and some mental football stadiums. Oh and the gelato is fit!
From £50pp return.
I went to Belfast for a wedding last year and it was absolutely bloody brilliant. There’s so many things to do that I got overwhelmed and just got drunk in many of its excellent boozers and bars. For actual, normal people there’s some truly interesting and informative Black Taxi rides and not forgetting – Game of Thrones!
From £57pp return.
Sweden isn’t just blonde girls, beautiful men and ABBA. There’s loads more – like Pirate Bay, IKEA and Snus. Stockholm, the nation’s capital, is split over 14 islands, connected by 57 bridges offering a rich and varied place with very distinct neighbourhoods and character. It’s probably a bit expensive, but I’ve also heard it’s pretty mint.
From £74pp return.
Thomas Cook have just recently started some non-stop flights from Manchester to the good old US of A, and you can get some pretty cheap deals with them. LA and Vegas seem to be the best for March, so check out the website before Trump builds a wall around your house to stop you.
The best place in the States. Grab yourself an In-And-Out burger, head to the Hollywood sign, have some laughs at Universal Studios and then head to South Central and get shot in the face. Brilliant.
From £420pp return
Perennial Ricky Hatton and Elvis favourite – Vegas is basically Blackpool after the winning the lottery with more strippers less guns.
From £388pp return
It’s likely that you know someone who has been to Berlin and won’t shut the fuck up raving about it. So if you’ve never been and want to know what it’s like then just ask them. Or find any hipster fella on the street and ask him. It’s always going to be positive. Be sure to try the old photo booths too – lots of fun!
From £45pp return
Second largest city in Germany. £33 quid return. What else is there to say? Well it’s also home to Reeperbahn – a notorious party and red light district offering as many bars, cafes and street food as you could ever want. My mate says that Toast Bar is really good, so if you go – check it out and let me know if he’s full of shit or not.
From £33pp return.
All I can say about Dublin is that if you go to the Guinness Storehouse – you’re in for a disappointment. They don’t even make Guinness there – it’s just a 5 story warehouse full of Guinness adverts with a snide bar at the top. As long as you avoid this place (and perhaps re-mortgage your house) you will have a brilliant time.
From £26pp return.
The city of love. The city of world famous fine dining. The city of the Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa. The city of Amelie and Moulin Rouge. The city of smog so bad you will gross up black tar. The city of sneering waiters and rats that cook Ratatouille. Erm… the city of love – lets stick with that one.
From £57pp return.
This one is a bit more expensive compared to the rest, but with Brussels Airlines offering a pretty good deal, it would be a shame not to include it. Nice manages to have fantastic beaches, great weather, Cannes and Monaco just down the road and some brilliant markets. There’s quite a bit of dog poo hanging around though so watch your step!
From £129pp return.
Erm… if you really need me to explain Benidorm to you then you definitely shouldn’t go. Expect full English breakfasts served with an ice cold pint while Only Fools and Horses plays on the 60 inch screen in front of you. Top beaches too actually.
From £60 return.
With some of the best bars and clubs in the world, stunning buildings and sights, amazing food and spirit measures that will make your eyes pop out, there’s nothing else that Barcelona needs. But just to show off, it also has a beach. Oh and Razzmatazz. Oh and Manchester Bar (2-for-1 beers every day). Oh and patatas bravas at Bar Tomas.
From £67pp return.
* Prices correct as of 9th Feb 2017.
* Flights based on weekend of 17th – 20th March 2017.