Alternatively, you might be dragged to something really pretentious and snotty for the night and be forced to act like a respectable adult for the evening. Nope- not okay.
So we propose that this year, you arrange a party that you and your colleagues will actually enjoy (a place where you can still get wasted and do the worm on the dance floor). As such, here are Manchester’s quirkiest Christmas parties of 2017 for a last minute booking…
The Finest team have really been caning Cottons recently, and I’ve found myself in there pretty much every Friday night or weekend for the past 2 months. Not only do they sell Big Wave, but it has a great atmosphere and some very nice staff members. If you fancy heading over this Christmas for your party, they can offer you a Whole Roasted Sucking Pig – which would not only satisfy up to 20 people, it will also look damn impressive when it turns up. It’s Christmas – treat yourself and go for the Henry VIII look.
Cottonopolis, 16 Newton St, Manchester M1 2AE
Cane and Grain
Although you might not think that Ribs and Booze were very Christmassy – you’re wrong. When little baby Jesus was in his manger, surrounded by animals and his mam and dad, one of the three kings – Balthazar I think it was, was tucking into a lovely rack of Baby Back Ribs – and now you can too. To be fair, the Christmas menu does include some great Smoked Turkey, but when there’s ribs, I doubt you’d want anything else. Especially when they are Cane & Grain ribs.
Cane & Grain, 49 -51 Thomas Street, Manchester M4 1NA
90’s Throwback at Gorton Monastery
Have a blast from the past this year for your Christmas party at the best 90’s throwback party you’ve ever seen! Located just outside of the city centre in a luxurious venue, it’s a slight upgrade from school discos back in the day (but with less boy/girl segregation). But don’t come lavished in the latest trends, whack out the cargo pants and crop tops and dress in your best 90’s gear (pink eye shadow and spiky hair included). But don’t dance too much, you’ll have to save some enjoy for your monstrous four-course meal!
If you want to have a curry on Christmas Day like my mum, then you’re in for a treat at Zouk, who are offering a 6 course meal including a roasted Leg of Lamb and a Chicken Berry Biriyani, as well as the obligatory bubbles and crackers. They are also offering a Christmas Party Banquet for groups, featuring a selection of their brilliant Indian creations, as well as a Christmas Tiffin Lunch Menu throughout December.
Zouk, 5, The Quadrangle, Chester Street, Manchester M1 5QS
As you’d expect from the gang over at Brasserie Abode, this Christmas looks to be a rather elegant and exciting affair filled with some delicious dishes and lashings of alcohol. They’re offering a range of options including a Festive Brasserie Dinner, a Festive Lunch and even a Christmas Day menu in case you get stuck in the city like Steve Martin in Planes, Trains & Automobiles. For more detailed, and better written information, click below.
Brasserie Abode, 107a Piccadilly, Manchester M1 2DB
Roast dinner and gig specialists Gorilla have a range of menus available for your Christmas party, as well as a Christmas buffet if you don’t fancy actually sitting down with your work colleagues and speaking to them like human beings. Their options start at £25 per person for 2 courses, and as you’d expect, the menu consists of all your Christmas faves including a cheeseboard.
If you find yourself in Whitefield this Christmas and are looking to celebrate with some top food and plenty of bevvies, then you can’t go far wrong with the fantastic One88. They’ve got a pretty extensive package for parties over the festive season, starting at £22 per head. As well as this, they also have an extravagant Christmas Day menu available – which means you wouldn’t have to mess about basting turkey, wrapping sausages in bacon or washing the dishes – it’s all done for you. Thanks!
One88 Bar and Kitchen, 188 Bury New Rd, Whitefield, Manchester M45 6QF
The Comedy Store
Fancy a laugh and some good food this year for your Christmas party this year? Well head to Deansgate Locks with your work buddies for a barrel of laughs at one of Manchester’s funniest and festive comedy nights. This year, ditch the glitzy dresses and ostentatious venues; instead, laugh away the stresses of the year with some of the city’s best stand-up comedians and entertainers. But don’t worry; there is still plenty of scrumptious food and dancing to be had!
Starting at £34 per person for two courses, Grafene’s Christmas menu is a thing of beauty – not suprising considering they know how to do British cuisine properely over there. Expect the classics, as well as some rather unique dishes including their Smoked Ham terrine with mulled cider jelly – which to me sounds like the best thing to eat at Christmas ever. Well, except cheese. Which I’m sure they’ll be able to sort you out with too.
Grafene, 6, 55 King St, Manchester M2 4LQ
Black Dog Ballroom & Dog Bowl
With such a wide range of things to do at Black Dog, not to mention the fact that there always seems to be something going on – it seems like a great choice when it comes to celebrating Christmas. They have pool tables, a rooftop bar, Dog Bowl, the Underdog, booths of all sizes and even karaoke, ensuring there is something for everyone – no matter what the size of the crew. I once did karaoke a few years back for a Christmas party and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. One of the best renditions of ‘All Alone for Christmas’ ever too.
Black Dog Ballroom,
NQ, 52 Church St, Manchester M4 1PW
NWS, 11-13 New Wakefield St, Manchester M1 5NP
Dog Bowl, Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5WW
The Roaring 20’s at Event City
Get ready to dress to impress and put on your dance shoes, for you are about to immerse yourselves in the forbidden delights and mysteries of the Roaring 20’s at Media City’s most glamorous Christmas party of the year. Following canapés on arrival and some Gatsby-inspired entertainment to start, you will then be seated for a mouth-watering three-course meal, followed by an evening of unique entertainment that includes jazz acrobats, dodgems and even a charity casino! And, if you manage to last the night dancing, you’ll be rewarded with a ‘survivors’ breakfast’ in the early hours. Sounds flapping amazing if you ask me!
Board, bread and wine specialists Bakerie in the Northern Quarter are offering a rather extensive Christmas menu this December, starting from only £23.95 per person (which includes a lovely glass of fizz on arrival). The food is always on point in Bakerie so you can’t really go wrong. Unless you have too much wine from their Wine Jukebox and start slagging off your boss to their face. They probably deserve it anyway.
Bakerie, 45 Lever St, Manchester M1 1DN
Don Giovanni have so many things going on this Christmas that they had to fill a full double-sided A3 flyer up with everything, and that’s still not enough. First of all, there is their Per Tutti pop-up to consider, which will be open right up until the New Year – serving some rather lovely pizzas as well as your usual favourite pasta and antipasti dishes. As well as this, Don Giovanni will be offering extensive Christmas party menus, as well as a special menu for Christmas Day.
Don Giovanni, Peter House, 1-2 Oxford St, Manchester M1 5AN
Ibiza- the place where dreams come true and livers get destroyed. Home to some of the world’s most notorious music venues and nightclubs, Ibiza is known to host the best parties in the world- and my god, we cannot disagree. Although some of you may still have your Ibiza tan and drunken arse tattoo, the season has been and gone and you are now going to have to wait six gruelling months until you can whack out your bikinis and fanny packs again. Or, you could start the party a little early this year for your works’ Christmas do!
Hosted in one of Wilmslow’s finest venues, the party includes drinks in the marquee to start, a three-course meal to follow and a party to remember for the rest of the evening. Your favourite Ibiza classics will be played from start to finish by professional live DJ’s, all of whom will be accompanied by a groovy saxophonist. So all you need to do it dress to impress, stick on some Tiesto at pre’s and practice your shuffle with your mates. Looks like Ibiza’s opening party is starting early ladies and gents…
Christmas at Scene is unlikely to be a fully traditional affair – what with them specialising in Indian Street Food – but who cares about tradition anyway!? Pulling inspiration from the subcontinent, Scene are offering a Festive Fayre – representing the Indian Christmas tradition of Midnight Mass and featuring a large feast of many different dishes, all placed in the centre of the table for all to share. Like a real feast, there’s no need to choose – you’ll get everything on the menu so you can try new things, or just hog your favourite – slapping the hands of anyone who gets too close. You can check the menu here.
Scene Indian Street Kitchen, 4 Left Bank, Manchester M3 3AN
Sushi specialists are providing us Mancs with something a bit different this year for Christmas, because let’s face it, who would ever think to have raw fish wrapped in rice in December!? Well, there’s definitaly plenty of people who would, and with it being Sakana’s usual fresh, rather delicious options – you could do far worse. There’s loads of options, each with a series of ‘waves’ of sushi for everyone to dig into. Try and get a few sake’s down you too – you might as well do it proper.
Sakana, 23 Peter St, Manchester M2 5QR
A Tipi Christmas
It’s time to get cosy this year at Trafford Park’s tipi Hinterland Christmas party. Make sure you snuggle up close to the open fire whilst lounging in one of many fairy-light draped, giant tipis, because it sure does get chilly in the wintery wilderness! Surrounded by pine trees, snow and even an aurora light show, you’ll feel like you’ve stepped into a scene from a movie.
Enjoy a tasty two-course meal with your friends and make the most of your private gin and cocktail bar. There will be DJ’s, live acts and plenty of dancing, but make sure you remember to bring your bikini, because you’re going to get very wet in your wood fire hot tub!
You may not have heard of The Range, and that’s probably because it’s only just opened over in Spinningfields. If you have heard of The Range, then you’ll probably know that it’s a swanky golf club in the city, offering a selection of state-of-the-art golf simulators in which to practise your swing and get some wear out of those cheque trousers you bought. Having such simulators on hand makes it perfect for a Christmas party – where you can show off to your colleagues how well you can swing a stick at a ball, all the while enjoying a menu of some great looking dishes and plenty of booze!
The Range, Leftbank, Spinningfields, Manchester, M3 3AN
Randall & Aubin
Even though they specialise in seafood, with daily fresh specials galore – Randall & Aubin are offering a traditional Christmas for anyone looking to have a festive get together in December – but with a bit of a twist here and there. Sure, you could opt for the ‘Warwickshire bronze cranberry stuffed crown of turkey’ but you’d be a bit silly not to give the seafood option a try – especially considering that it’s the whole raison d’etre of Randall and Aubin in the first place. One of the options is Baked Cod with a Lancashire cheese and brioche crust which just sounds divine.
Randall & Aubin, 64 Bridge St, Manchester M3 3BN
The Lowry Hotel
One of my best Christmas parties was attending a Murder Mystery somewhere in Cheshire. It wasn’t enjoyable because of the meal (I was too drunk) or the actual mystery (I was too drunk), no – it was the chance to dress up in some 1920’s garb and prance around like I owned the place. You can do the same this Christmas with The Lowry Hotel, who are putting on a season of Great Gatsby themed events and parties. Starting from the 30th November, they have 9 dates in which you can enjoy a slap up meal, as well as some 20’s entertainment. Head here for more information and the chance to WIN a Christmas meal for up to 10. https://www.thelowryhotel.com/festive-events/festive-competition
Lowry Hotel, 50 Dearmans Pl, Chapel Wharf, Salford, Manchester M3 5LH
On the night of the 8th December, The Principal will be packed out with blokes carrying mistletoe and girls wearing them flashing Santa hats as they host their Weekend Christmas Party Night in the Ballroom. There’s complimentary drinks and canapés, followed by a three course meal, a live band and a disco – all perfect for trying to cop off with Derek in HR who you’ve been checking out since you saw his six-pack on Facebook in July. Party packages start from £69.
The Principal, Oxford St, Manchester M60 7HA
Junkyard Golf Club
If you’re looking for something a bit different for your Christmas Party, then it doesn’t get more different (or mental) than Junkyard Golf Club. They’ll be offering your gang a chance to pot some balls on one of their courses, have some cocktails in one of their bars and scoff some food from their very capable kitchen. They want me to tell you to expect slushy cocktails too, which fit in with Christmas perfectly – because they are fucking freezing.
Junkyard Golf Club, 1, First St, Manchester M15 4FN
Sports Party @ Shooters
If you’re looking for a Christmas party this year with a little less sparkle and a lot more football, you’re in luck lads, because we’ve got just the celebration for you. Ditch the cheesy music and enjoy the sweet echo of chanting crowds and boo’s as your favourite teams battle it out on massive LED screens. Put your dancing shoes away this year and bring your A-game instead, because you’re about to play a lot of table tennis, fussball, pool and of course, beer pong. From just £11.67 per person, you could enjoy various American-style buffets and all of the beer you can dream of at one of Manchester’s best and most exclusive sports bars.
A round up of things to do and places to go in Manchester wouldn’t be complete without an entry from the Tattu lot, who continue to bang out excellent Chinese cuisine over there in Spinningfields, even with a new Leeds location to take care of. As you would expect, they have a rather comprehensive Christmas set up, with options to suit any size party and any sized wallet. Their priciest number includes Szechuan Lobster and everyone’s favourite – Beef Fillet and Caramel Soy.
Tattu, 3, 4 Hardman Square, Gartside St, Manchester M3 3EB