This week sees quite a few events, some comedy and two soul juggernauts come to town – enjoy…
Friday 15th June
I wanted to get Doug Stanhope into the Finest office so we could have a chat and we could both get pissed up together before his gig at the Manchester Academy on Friday. He certainly seems like my kinda guy and if you’ve ever seen his stand-up you’ll know to expect loads of ‘effing swearing, plenty of ‘effing drinking, and actually – a load of ‘effing laughing. In true Troy McClure style you may know him from such UK TV shows as Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe and 8 Out of 10 Cats once in 2008. He’s seemingly not been invited back on 8 Out of 10 Cats – probably because it’s a load of shite. As I said, Doug hits the stage tonight and you can get yourself some tickets below. Doug, if you’re reading this on the train somewhere – pop in the office – I’ve got a big Pina Colada on ice for you lad.
Me Gusta Day at Hatch & Joshua Brooks
Friday 15th June
For all you cool cats out there who enjoy a fair bit of dancing and love your music, Me Gusta are in town hitting up both Hatch during the day and Joshua Brooks at night on Friday. Hatch first and they are hosting a day party in the ‘sun’ with resident DJ’s belting out music from all over the world including Afrobeat, Latin, Cumbria, Baile Funk, Kuduro, Kwaito, Soca & Dancehall and more. (I have no idea what Kwaito is but I’m gonna find out!) Tickets are only £4 and it’s going on for around 8 whole hours. Later from 11pm, the gang will be hitting up Joshua Brooks with a collaboration with Busy Life Music and featuring Tash LC and The Busy Twist. Again, it should be a stormer! Get your tickets below:
Saturday 16th June
Who doesn’t want to see Flash Gordon on the big screen!? The movie is the perfect example of a shite film that is watchable over and over again. There are way too many highlights for me to list here but one of my favourites is the bit where Timothy Dalton runs into a room with a gun and says ‘Freeze you bloody bastards’ in the most Welsh way imaginable. Another highlight is Sam Jones’ acting which is not only wooden, it’s borderline petrified. But put everything together and you’ve got a cracking watch and something that would be brilliant to gawp at in a cinema just like those poor sods in 1980. They’re showing it on Saturday at the Odeon Great Northern and tickets are selling fast. I should have tried to make a pun there at the end. Something to do with “being in a flash”. Nah, can’t think of one.
Lionel Richie Live at Leigh Sports Village
Saturday 16th June
What? Lionel Richie is coming to Leigh? I can’t bloody believe it. I’ve always wanted to give Lionel Richie a bloody big cuddle and it seems that this week I can finally fulfil that desire. He’s playing at the Leigh Sports Village which seems a bit weird but in fact is perfect for this kind of outdoor large-scale concert. I played rugby there once and each seat in the stadium managed to see perfectly my pathetic attempts at tackling and passing, so the views will be good. He’s supported by Shane Finan who was in one of them Irish bands – B*Witched I think. Hopefully Lionel will stick to his hits – and maybe head over to San Carlo again for a cheeky Carbonara? Anyone reading this who doesn’t know who Lionel Richie is – check this shit out: All Night Long
Sunday 17th June
Approximately 33 years ago my mother and father got down and frisky in a manky double bed in Oldham and in less than 12 seconds – Ben Brown was on his way to becoming the idiot that he is today. Let’s all spend a day celebrating our fathers’ 12 seconds of effort, graft and perseverance by buying them a pint, chewing on a big slab of meat together and telling him to stop sharing Britain First posts on Facebook. It’s not just the card companies that love Father’s Day – Manchester’s establishments do too because it gives them chance to design new drinks, put together new burgers and offer a range of freebies unseen on any other day of the year. I’ve spent 3 hours of my 32 years getting all of these things together so if you’ve not sorted anything out for the farting bald man in your life – here’s the definitive list of where to treat him…
Sunday 17th June
So we’ve got Christmas Day – a day where we celebrate the birth of a bloke in the Middle East who was fortunate enough to be born in a barn where he could then be excused for leaving doors open for the rest of his life. We’ve also got New Year’s Day – a day where we celebrate the fact that some geezer with a tunic decided he didn’t want 10 months anymore – he wanted 12. And finally, we have Manchester Day – a day where we celebrate what it is like to be Mancunian and hold up everything that makes this city great for all the world to see. It’s this Sunday and so the city centre will be awash with a load of dancers, floats, fire, confetti, street food, booze and all importantly – severe traffic restrictions. Here’s loads more information about it.
World Cup 2018 – England v Tunisia
Monday 18th June
Out of all the World Cup tournaments I’ve watched in my life the one I seem to remember the most is USA 1994. The reason behind this is because it is the only time I ever collected stickers for a World Cup and so it was the only time I ever managed to put a face to the myriad of foreign sounding names that were getting thrown about all over the place. It was a magical time, with Maradona on more coke than a lovelorn Scarface, Roberto Baggio absolutely battering anyone that came near him and the ridiculous Colombian goalkeeper’s kit blinding everyone with its vulgarity. Here’s hoping this year’s tournament in Russia will be just as good. England are playing Tunisia on Monday night so you can go watch that somewhere. Pretty much everywhere is playing it including The Range, Dive NQ, Bunny Jacksons, Black Dog NWS and plenty more.
George Benson at Bridgewater Hall
Wednesday 20th June
What? George Benson is coming to Manchester? I can’t bloody believe it. I’ve always wanted to see George Benson, hear his silky-smooth voice resonate like butter in a frying pan down my ears and into my brain. I’ve also always wanted to touch his face, softly and sensually, caressing his tiny little moustache while he sings ‘Give Me The Night’ loudly in my face. What a man. What a legend. He’s at the Bridgewater Hall on Wednesday night and he’s sure to make you feel the same way. Anyone reading this who doesn’t know who George Benson is – check this shit out: Turn Your Love Around
Asha’s Best of British
Wednesday 20th & Thursday 21st June
Everyone loves a good curry. In fact, one of my guilty pleasures is to get proper pissed up, head to the local Curry Shop and make an absolute mess of my face, my shirt, my shoes and the entire corner of the restaurant with a combination of mango chutney, shards of poppadoms, some curry sauce that would stun an eagle and around 6 pints of Cobra. There are of course many other more sophisticated and culinary ways to enjoy probably the best food in the world, and this week sees the brilliant Asha’s offer a 5-course menu with 4 British paired wines for only £30 per person at their Best of British event. I reckon that’s proper good value and considering the food at Asha’s is absolutely amazing – it should be a no brainer really.