The Monster
Friday 25th – Monday 28th May
Pretty much every kid’s favourite thing is to get on a bouncy castle or trampoline and get involved in a bit of bouncy-bouncy. As an adult though you quickly realise that it’s actually a lot of hard graft and proper tiring. After about 3 minutes of bouncing you’re ready to give up and head to the nearest pub for some Pork Scratchings. Well the gang at The Monster have us covered because not only do they have the biggest bloody inflatable thing in the Universe, but they also have a bar and street food on hand for when you’re too fucked to carry on. It’s this weekend only and tickets are selling fast so be proper quick if you want to go.
Dot to Dot Festival
Friday 25th May
A full one-day festival featuring loads of different venues around the city and loads of different acts all playing songs that they have probably written themselves about that time they broke up with that girl or the time they caught the bus to Wigan and a man was pissed up on the backseat. Tickets are only £15 and there’s performances from the likes of The Horrors, Dermot Kennedy, Pale Waves, Marika Hackman and loads more. I’ve always been moderately interested and amused by band names so have yourself a read through the list of performers for some right crackers including ‘The Kite String Tangle’, ‘Men I Trust’ and the mysterious ‘Lion’.
Happy Days at Royal Exchange Theatre
From Friday 25th May
I bet you thought I was going to start talking about the Fonz and Richie Cunningham and that Potsie bloke but I won’t. That would be too easy. Instead I’m going to talk about Happy Days in Fallowfield – one of the most perplexing kebab shops in the world but one that is always there for you (much like Fonzie actually). Open all hours, Happy Days manage to cram so many fried dishes onto their menu that just to look at it you put on 5 pounds – but being able to buy a pizza for £2 while off your face on Strongbow – it doesn’t matter. Why am I talking about Happy Days? Well it’s also the title of a Samuel Beckett play starting at the Royal Exchange this week and I know very little about it so was trying to cover my back. It stars Maxine Peake and is about optimism I think. Check it out and let me know.
Doc’N Roll Festival
Starts Friday 25th May
Manchester will be hosting a music documentary festival this weekend in the form of Doc N Roll, “presenting new films on music subcultures including indie, jazz, rock, grunge and electronic, with Q&As and after-parties to expand the experience.” There’s a documentary about Chorlton hat wearer Badly Drawn Boy, Ella Fitzgerald as well as the excellent Manchester Keeps On Dancing – charting the arrival of House music in Manchester in the 80’s through to Acid House and its impact on the music scene ever since. There’ll be Q&A’s knocking about afterwards and in the case of Manchester Keeps on Dancing – a big afterparty at Gorilla on Sunday night.
Bank Holiday Weekend
As mentioned above in my terribly written and borderline incoherent introduction, it’s a Bank Holiday – yaay! So, you can enjoy Sunday night getting absolutely buggered and then spend all day Monday in bed with a Dominos, some Irn Bru and two of those massive Garlic & Herb dips. Whilst watching Hook on telly. Before then though there’s loads of stuff going on around the city including a massive Pikes Hotel takeover of The Refuge, a bit of Copenhagen influence at Hatch and some Bottomless Sushi at Sakana. Check this Round Up out now for more information on all of those things and more.
East Lancashire Railway 1940s Weekend
Saturday 26th – Monday 28th May
Dust off your ration book, grab your thick cotton stockings from the back of your underwear drawer and get those curlers in your hair because it’s 1940’s weekend on the East Lancashire Railway and they’ve got loads going on. You can enjoy the spirit of the 40’s without the possibility of getting bombed to shit or getting rickets as each train station on the railway hosts a variety of events, parties, displays and parades. There’s way too much going on for me to list here but highlights include a Spitfire Flypast, Battle Re-enactments and my absolute favourite – a military and classic vehicle display. Oh, and you can meet some people dressed up as characters from ‘Allo, ‘Allo too. Hopefully in a non-racist way. Get all the information you could ever desire below.
Corbières 40th Birthday Party
Sunday 27th May
Life begins at 40 they say. Well not for most people. 40 sees the time when your body is starting to give up, with everything creaking, a beer gut and the necessary groan every time you bend down or get out of a car. Then there’s the job which you’ve been in for around 15 years and you still have to make the tea and your boss is still turning up in a new Mercedes every 6 months as you chugg along in a 1997 Fiat Brava. Finally, your marriage is a sham and you hate your kids. Brilliant. What can you do to get out of this rut? Well my first piece of advice would be to head to the Corbières 40th Birthday party, get yourself a toy boy, divorce the husband and re-vitalise your life. There will be plenty of funk, soul, disco, reggae, new wave, progressive rock, classic hip-hop, beats, bongos and more in between which you can dance to and get off with people to. Good luck!
Corbières Wine Cavern, 2 Half Moon St, Manchester M2 7PB
0161 834 3381
Colin Curtis One Deck Wednesday at Electrik
Wednesday 30th May
Electrik always put on a proper decent party on Wednesdays as they open up their turntable to a plethora of record collectors, musicians, music fans or sometimes just random people they find shopping in Barnardos next door. The concept is simple – the DJ for the night brings their own records and plays what they like on the deck, while everyone else enjoys themselves drinking German Beers and eating some rather delicious kebabs. This week sees music legend Colin Curtis hit the decks so you know it’s going to be fucking mint.
Electrik, 559a Wilbraham Road, Chorlton, M21 0AE
www.electrikbar.co.uk/
Disney Quiz at Jimmy’s
Wednesday 30th May
It’s quiz time over at Jimmy’s and they’ve chosen a theme that will either be really, really fun or an absolute nightmare. It all depends on the questions really. If someone asked you ‘Who was the voice of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story’ you’d be like “Ah brilliant I know this it’s Tim Allen. Ahh what a brilliant set of motion pictures those films were. Ahhh I’m having such a good time tonight.” Whereas if they start asking ‘How many spoons jump into the pink stuff during the Be Our Guest song in Beauty and the Beast you’re going to be like “How the fuck do I know that? Who knows that? Not even Walt Disney in his cryogenic chamber under the Magic Kingdom knows that. This is rubbish, I’m outta here.” A bit of advice there Jimmy’s from Ben Brown. Free that one.
Cottonopolis x Native Youth ‘Summer Warm Up’
Thursday 31st May & Friday 1st June
Cottonopolis have decided to grab ahold of fashion brand Native Youth and cling onto them for dear life this week as they celebrate the beginning of the season with their ‘Summer Warm Up’. Taking place on Thursday and Friday, each day will see a Summer Sample sale from the Native Youth crew alongside a bit of hair-snippery from RCNQ and Barber Below and nail-paintery from WAHnails. The hairdresser lot are offering cuts for £15, which I’ve heard is very good value – I wouldn’t know because I’ve not been to a hairdresser in around 9 years. On top of this there will be some top tunes as Meat Free and MCR Live take over once the sun starts to set. Clobber, Cuts, Cuticles and Cr..dancing – what more could you desire?
Cottonopolis, 16 Newton St, Manchester M1 2AE
www.cottonopolis-nq.com/
