Please enjoy my comprehensive list of things to do in Manchester over the next 7 Earth-turnings. I have tried my best to ensure it is both informative and varied – so it appeals to everyone in society and not just 32 year old idiots from Oldham. If you have any feedback, please keep it to yourself.
Prince – A Tribute by Late Nite Tuff Guy
Friday 16th June, 11pm
Just like when JFK got shot or when Jacko snuffed it, most people probably remember where they were and what they were doing when Prince died last year. Not me, I honestly cannot remember – even though I’m a massive Prince fan. Perhaps it’s because there were so many celebrity deaths last year they all merged into one – and I was perhaps still grieving over Bowie’s untimely demise. That’s probably why the Victorians had such long periods of mourning where they couldn’t smile or wear anything other than black. All we can do now is keep the Prince legend alive, by having other people do tributes while we get drunk and dance. It’s the turn of Late Nite Tuff Guy this week over at Gorilla, who will be providing a fitting tribute to the demure Purple One with an immersive sound and vision show.
Tickets are available here.
Gorilla, 54-56 Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5WW
0161 826 2998
Friday 16th June, 11pm
So it’s another Ultimate Power and it’s another point on my list of things to do. There are still tickets left for this – one of the best nights you’ll ever have. There’s a shit load of confetti, power ballads, booze, terrible dancing, inflatable guitars, long lacquered hair and fist pumping over at the Ritz, so if you find yourself at a loose end – get on down. I’ll be milling about trying to look sober as my friend Harry Lord stumbles about so if you see us – I’ll have 2 blue WKD’s please.
O2 Ritz, Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5NQ
0161 714 4140
Sunday 18th June
Ah bloody hell – it’s one of the worst days of the year again! If you’re a dad its rubbish because you receive crappy cards and gifts off your kids which you then have to pretend to like, when all you want to do is nip off down to the pub with some of the lads and talk about farting. If you are a child, you have to put up with speaking to your dad for at least half of the day, when all he wants to talk about is the rubbish he’s read in the Daily Mail and whinge to you about how much of a disappointment you are to him. Perhaps you should just do what I do and ignore the day altogether and notch it off as another attempt by card companies to wrangle the money out of my pocket. If you enjoy the company of your father though, and I’m probably talking to mostly women here now, I’ve done a round-up of some of the special offers and events in the city to take advantage of, including free meals, free beers, free cocktails and free bowling. Check it out here.
Sunday 18th June
This Sunday sees a huge celebration of everything ‘Manchester’ with a huge parade through the city centre and a massive list of food and drink establishments being set up throughout the city’s various squares. I wrote a more in-depth description a few weeks back, so instead of just repeating myself, here is a link to it.
Cheese Quiz @ Sip Club
Tuesday 20th June, 7.30pm
Unfortunately for many, this is not a quiz about cheese. Although to be fair I think it would be quite difficult to make a cheese quiz as a regular thing – a one-off would be great. You could get people to do cheese impressions, ask questions relating to cheese puns, have blind folded cheese tasting challenges, and even have a Babybel race. I’ve clearly thought about this too much, but then again – cheese is probably the best food there is. That’s probably why the main prize of the Cheese Quiz over at the Stretford Sip Club is a massive wedge of cheese – the competition is surely going to be fierce. It’s a general knowledge quiz, £1 per person to enter and you’ll be surrounded by an excellent range of craft beers and ciders, as well as one of the best hidden pubs in the whole of Manchester.
Stretford Sip Club, 164A Barton Road, Stretford, Manchester M32 8DP
The Preloved Project MCR @ Trove
Wednesday 21st June, 5pm – 9pm
There’s a very talented and dedicated woman called Rachael Otterwell who has organised an event called The Preloved Project which is a not-for-profit Swishing event looking to raise valuable funding for the homeless community in Manchester. I know what you’re thinking – that’s a really good cause, I’d like to get involved. I also know what else you’re thinking – what the hell is ‘Swishing’!? Well, Ben Brown is here to help with this handy guide: Grab some unwanted stuff from your house – whether it’s clothing, footwear, jewellery, accessories, homewares or Disney VHS’s and take them down to Trove in Levenshulme on Wednesday night. Hand your stuff over at the door as you enter, but make sure it’s clean and on a hanger and looking presentable. You will then be free to have a look around all of the other stuff and swap for things you like. If you’re sick of wearing the same clobber all the time but don’t have enough money to go to Tammy Girl, then this is perfect. And you’ll be doing something nice for charity.
Trove, 1032 Stockport Rd, Manchester M19 3WX
0161 432 7184
Lucha Libre @ Albert Hall
Thursday 22nd June
I’ve featured wrestling on this round up before, over at the Stockport Plaza, featuring slightly overweight British blokes from Bracknell dipping and diving over each other so they could scrape enough money together to pay for their gym membership and a week’s worth of Turkey Twizzlers from Iceland. This is nothing like that. I promise. Lucha Libre is the real deal – Mexican wrestling the kind of which Manchester has never seen. Featuring an array of wild and colourful characters, you will watch as these absolute idiots kick the living shit out of each other for your amusement. Billed as ‘The Greatest Spectacle of Lucha Libre’ you can expect all the kinda stuff you saw in that Jack Black movie Nacho Libre but in real life and without the nuns. Perfect. If you go – I’ll see you there!
Albert Hall, 27 Peter St, City Centre, Manchester M2 5QR
0844 858 8521