6 things to spend your money on this Pay Day in Manchester

Well, payday is here – and what better way to celebrate than to bloody spend it all in one night and eat porridge for the rest of the month!?

By Ben Brown | 26 January 2017

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Your dad is falling asleep on the sofa in front of the telly. He’s had one too many tins of Tennant’s, and has overdosed on cheese and port. His belly is slowly starting to show under his jumper and he’s started farting those horrible roast dinner ones which make your mum question her life choices. This is the moment when you quickly realise that Christmas is over and you’ve got another 5 weeks until your next payday. Well, payday is here – and what better way to celebrate than to bloody spend it all in one night and eat porridge for the rest of the month!? Check this Friday payday banter…

Hunky Dory presented by The Awful Truth
It’s been just over a year since everyone’s favourite cocaine, peppers and milk eating legend snuffed it and after a massive year for his album Blackstar – he’s here to stay perpetually in everyone’s memories for a long time to come. Head to The Wonder Inn at Shudehill for a plethora of local artists performing his 1971 album Hunky Dory, as well as a couple of their own tunes thrown in for good measure. Including absolute tunes such as ‘Changes’ and ‘Life on Mars?’ – the album is a beauty and the night should be perfect for anyone who was a fan of old Davy Jones.

The Jodrellaires, Romy & The Girls, Jacob Nico, The Awful Truth
The Wonder Inn, 29 Shudehill, Manchester M4 2AF
Friday 27th Jan @ 7.30pm
£5 advance, £8 on the door

There is a massive list of brilliant things that come from Mexico. The food is fit – as is the tequila. They have loads of mint beaches, them Mayan ruins are pretty good and Mexico City is bloody brilliant. There’s also Salma Hayek, Santana Champagne and that Dusk til Dawn movie. I always find it weird that someone in Mexico, on the other hand, would be listing good things about Manchester in a border-line racist way. Well, if Camilo Lara and Sergio Mendoza were to do a list – Morrissey would definitely be up near the top somewhere. Their band Mexrrissey has been touring their new album ‘No Manchester’ all around the world, and their seemingly flawless integration of Mexican sounds and Morrissey (and The Smiths) tunes is truly a wonder to behold. Check em out at The Ritz this Friday.

O2 Ritz, Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5NQ
Friday 27th Jan @ 18:30
£16.50 advance

Barrel of Laughs
Obviously this is stand up comedy on a Friday night featuring 3 top-flight national and international acts, with a cheesy disco afterwards. It’s as simple as that. I’ve always wanted to try stand up, but obviously I’m 1) too scared and 2) depressingly unfunny and 3) an idiot so it’s best to let the professionals do it and laugh along with them (probably at Donald Trump judging by the news). I once saw a bloke here stick a firework up his arse and light it by the way – it’s one of the best and funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Frog and Bucket, 102 Oldham St, Manchester M4 1LJ
Friday 27th Jan @ 7pm (show starts at 8.30pm)
£17/£13 conc. advance, £19/£15 conc. on the door

808s & Heartdrake
If you like Kanye West or that Drake fella then check out Gorilla on Friday for their massive 808s & Heartdrake night. I don’t really like either of em, but plenty of younger, hipper, more attractive and probably more successful people than me do – so get yourself down for it. If the following description makes ANY sense to you – you’re in for a top night…

We’re combining two of our maddest parties last term into one giant ting. This year is going to be even bigger than the last one, trust man! 1-800-BIGMANMOVEMENTS on speed dial.

2016 was pretty whack, but Gorilla proved to be a shelter for the dancers. It has genuinely been a LOCK ting since October. Two phat parties, but we want more in 2k17.

We’ve come back fresh and ready for wah’ – gun-fingers at the ready, it’s nothing but love this term.

Kanye vs Drake Special
Gorilla, 54-56 Whitworth St W, Manchester M1 5WW
Friday 27th Jan @ 11pm
£2 advance, £5 on the door

Chinese New Year
It’s the year of the Rooster in the Chinese version of the Gregorian calendar, which means you’re in for a treat this weekend with Manchester’s usual massive celebrations. There’s loads of stuff going on, including that big bloody dragon dancing and prancing around the city centre on Sunday. Friday will allow you to splash the cash in St Annes Square for at the Street Food Market including grub from Yang Sang, Dim Sum Su, Rice Bowl, Mei Mei’s Street Cart and Tampopo.
On top of this there is The Lanterns of the Terracotta Warriors in Exchange Square – a collection of mental two metre-high, brightly coloured lanterns telling the story of Chinese lantern making, all while looking like 40 well ‘ard Chinese warriors from olden times.

Various events around the city centre

Psychic Sally – Call Me Psychic Tour
Guess who is coming to Wythenshawe this Friday? That’s right – its Sally Morgan! Sally Morgan – yaaay! Sally Morgan, the nation’s favourite psychic! Sally Morgan, favourite of Sky Living and homophobic people everywhere. Sally Morgan, a woman who stands in front of a crowd of people and uses her special powers of psychic-ness! Sally Morgan! Get yourself down to the Wythenshawe Forum on Friday night if you wanna hear a grown woman pretend to talk to ghosts and that. Or just stand outside like this guy

Wythenshawe Forum, Simonsway, Wythenshawe, Manchester M22 5RX
Friday 27th Jan @ 7.30pm
£24 advance